When it comes to relationships, finances can be a significant cause of strain. When a couple makes roughly the same income, it's usually smooth sailings, but if one person makes significantly more money than their partner, it can sometimes cause problems.
This man learned the hard way that you can't expect people to budget the same way you do, especially when they make less money than you.
A (now deleted) user on Reddit's AITA sub shared the story of how he took his girlfriend on a vacation that he could afford, but she couldn't, even though he'd expected her to pay "her share."
He wondered if this made him an asshole.
"My brother and I were the ones who did most of the planning of the itinerary although we did ask everyone else for input. For background, I make around $150,000k as an IT consultant, my girlfriend is a teacher making $45,000k. My parents are pretty affluent as well as my brother and sister in law."
"We have always split things 50/50 in the 2 years we have been together."
By this alone, he should've known that she couldn't afford the vacation. She had to take on an extra job just to make up her half of the cost.
"She also would only eat 2 meals a day, simply stating that she was on a budget. My family does favor more high-end (expensive) places. My parents thought it was very strange that she only eats 2 meals a day although normally she eats 3."
The cost of a trip is one thing, but all of those extras add up quickly. I can't blame her for skipping out on expensive restaurants.
He even said he was worried she had an eating disorder, since she was clearly hungry, but depriving herself.
"She got teary eyed and said that 3 meals a day wasn't fiscally feasible for her and neither were the outings that she chose not to go on (she went on 3 of 6 outings). She said she was not expecting everything to cost so much and she was overwhelmed."
It's amazing that he didn't notice she was struggling financially with the trip.
"I feel bad that I did not pick up on her discomfort sooner. But we did agree to split everything 50/50 and I don't know why she agreed to come if the cost was an issue."
Yeah, this just seems like a bad situation. She probably felt pressured to go along, and he seems a little clueless about it all.
"She got a second job JUST to afford the trip! You probably could have saved her expenses in a few months and instead she had to skip meals just to spend time with your family. Do you expect her to do this the rest of your lives?" one commenter asks.
How does it make sense for someone who makes more than triple their partner's salary to split costs evenly? The commenters had this exact question.
One comment reads, "Yes, going 50/50 might have worked out in the beginning of their relationship, but when the income disparity is that big, you need to adjust the agreement."
"I can't believe that he let her go to bed hungry and didn't say anything at the time," one person commented.
It is kind of weird that he didn't ask her while they were on vacation, but instead waited until they got home.
The comments overwhelmingly agreed that he was, in fact, the asshole. One comment said, "She worked a second job and went hungry to be with you and your family. Maybe you and your family should have some empathy and consider that not everyone is making six figures."
It's probably a good idea to take everyone's budget into account when planning a vacation.
