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Quotes For Anyone Who Missed A Few Driver's Ed Lessons

Updated September 6, 2021

I can admit I'm not what you would call a "good driver." Sometimes I take up more than my share of spaces in a parking lot, and yeah, I've been known to run my fair share of yellow lights, even when I had more than enough time to stop.

But hey, show me someone who hasn't.

Okay, okay. I know what you're thinking and yes, I could probably use a few more driver's ed lessons to really polish up these less-than-skills. But I know I'm not the only one who could. And if my behavior behind the wheel sounds familiar, I think you're really going to enjoy these tweets.

It's that simple.

I will quite literally circle the block forty times in search of a different spot, rather than try to wiggle my way into this one, parallel park-style.

It's just not worth the drama.

Well...you didn't have to call me out like that.

I love how this tweet specifically says "girls" as if it only applies to teenagers, when in fact I am a grown woman who regularly panics over pimples and will also say such delightfully inappropriate phrases like "oopsie daisy" when I hit a curb.

Absolutely terrifying.

No, you don't understand. This genuinely shakes me to my core. Your eyes are only closed for about a nanosecond, but so many things can go wrong in that time.

Am I about to hit a dog? Did the light suddenly turn red? Has the road opened up into a devastating sinkhole that I'm about to drop into? I don't know, because I sneezed.

The last thing I need is an audience.

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Honestly, I think the world would be just a little bit better if we could politely request strangers close their eyes when we feel like we're about to do something very embarrassing in front of them.

Who do I call to get the ball rolling on this?