We're currently in the middle of summer and it's hotter than a jalapeño in Havana; it's sweatier than adolescent gym socks; it's more unbearable than the tweets of a certain orange man with enough chaotic energy to make us want to hurl ourselves into the sun.
Even with A/C, this heat sucks big time. No one's out here wanting to eat normal birthday cake with that whipped cream icing that gets all gross and sticky after three seconds.
You want ice cream cake. I want ice cream cake. We all want ice cream cake. This isn't a controversial opinion or a revolutionary idea—it's simply fact.