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Trump Website Is Selling Plastic Straws Because ‘Liberal Paper Straws Don’t Work’

sydney.brooman 19 Jul 2019

A lot of things have happened over the course of the Trump presidency, but this is the last straw.

Literally. He's selling official Trump/Pence 2020 sets of plastic straws because that's what he should be focusing on currently, right?

These'll be perfect for a nice, ice-cold glass of fresh, beautiful water—oh wait, Flint, Michigan doesn't have that.

Trump's argument is simple: paper straws are for Liberal snowflakes.

Giphy | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

"Liberal paper straws don't work," the website description reads, "Stand with President Trump and buy your pack of recyclable straws today!"

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The straws are red, Trumpy, and just like democracy, will sit in a steaming garbage landfill for the next hundred years.

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You know, if society lasts that long amidst global warming.

But alas, I can't pick the straw thing a part too much. In terms of propaganda, they're pretty harmless.

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The official Trump site also sells some other, er, interesting stuff.

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Haven't you always wanted to have your morning coffee with a shot of vodka that says "I love waking up and remembering that Donald Trump is President" then promptly refilling the mug with more vodka until you can't read it?

Yeah, me too.

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So yeah, Trump straws.

Giphy

Buy e'm here, for real. Like, this wasn't even a joke.

Sucks to suck. Actually, that's just what straws do.

h/t: Twitter

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