Most people believe that the Matrix movies are fictional, but that's not entirely true. Some people are born with the same ability as Neo to slow down time and dodge bullets. No matter what situation they find themselves in, they seem to always find a way to come out on top.
Don't believe me? These pictures are the proof!
"Please let the cooties stage last forever." You better hope they think Justin Bieber is a "dorkhead" forever.
Like, immediately. Go. Maybe we can both go halfsies on a ticket, though. I need some of that luck to rub off on me.
These fortune cookies sound like my sisters giving me advice. Honestly, though, what kind of dark fortune cookies actually tell you that, for all of eternity, nothing good will happen in your life? Not cool, man, not cool at all.
This could have been tree-cherous. Mother Nature is like, "I'll just leaf this right here." What's freaking me out more than this incredible luck are the three nearly identical cars on this street.
I've watched this over and over and my body still tenses every time I see that incoming train. It's given me a freight!
But your mom knows you better than that! She knows full well that your favorite thing to have in your mouth is her homemade lasagna.
Smoooooth. if only all my cringeworthy texts could be blamed on grammar.
And by downhill, I mean into an angry, raging river. Close call!
If I had 1/1000th of the grace this boy has, I would have a full-ride scholarship to Julliard for ballet.
Although this could work out well for her in the end, too. When they break up, she won't even need to crop him out of the pic.
I can't stop watching this. I swear, it gets better each time.
But guess what, dude? Sara's dad LOVES karaoke. How are you gonna dodge that?
People ask me why I wear iron boots in the dead of summer. I show them this picture.
If you break down this gif and study it frame by frame, you can see the plug in the back of his neck where the Kung Fu was downloaded.
Shoulda asked for 3 gs. One for you, one for Dad, and one for the sister who told the entire internet what's up.
If your pancakes taste a bit lemony, don't look at me. I'll be sitting on my butter-flavored chair over here.
Go home, bed. You're drunk.
I can tell you that I'm definitely not sleeping through this. Or worse, you'll find me asleep on the toilet.
I recall pulling something like this on my dad as a kid. He still hasn't forgiven me.
This recovery is as quick as they come! Always double-check who you're texting!
Would hate to ruin that pedicure. If she hadn't been able to save her toes, she'd at least be able to save some nail polish later on.
Nothing like seasoning your meal with whatever bacteria happens to be lurking on your fingers as you fish your spoon from the bottom of your bowl.
That could have been a terrible third date conversation. Luckily, they found out just how much they had in common within the first few texts.
There are very few friendlier people you'll meet than, well, someone who just wants to reach out and make sure you're okay.
This was basically a minor mistake, but it led to perhaps a very important invention! The hamdog... smh.
Nothing can ruin a day like a yellow Starburst. If you say your fav is yellow, I'll fight you.
Seriously though, they're lucky it missed the windshield!
The catfishing game just ain't as easy as it used to be. Luckily for her, ladies got each other's backs!
Quite the axe-cident, amirite?
Similarly, this is why I don't wipe my butt when I'm drunk
Ever want to know what it would be like to eat cereal drenched in snot? This experience would comparable
Thankfully my phone defaults to AM for alarms, which is particularly charming when I try to set a 4 PM reminder to start dinner...
Like this guy who, after his breakup with Lauren, decided to class the tat up a bit!
