I'm about to be real boring for a second, but in case you haven't come across the "absolute unit" meme yet, you're in for a treat.
Twitter memes are not a new phenomenon, but late last year, one particular meme got rolling where people would post pictures of big, nay huge, version of things with the caption "In awe at the size of this lad. Absolute unit." The rest is history. Or rather, the rest is sampled in the article you're about to peruse.
As if this swole marsupial wasn't already intimidating enough, here it is proving that it can crush a bucket with its bare hands (paws? mitts?). The point is, there's no way I'm getting into a flexing contest with this one.
It's one of those brainteasers that they teach in philosophy class. The correct answer, though, is to take a sweet picture of it. I might also be tempted to try to snuggle it.
Someone on Reddit pointed out that it almost looks like it says EXOT, and now that's how I'm going to pronounce the word "exit" from now on. You've been warned.
I mean, like, because oak trees can be super thick. I'm not saying that this toy has an oaky flavor like he's some kind of fancy scotch or something. You got it, anyway.
For the purposes of this joke, I hope that this is a malamute because then I could call it an absolute malam-unit. If not, then let's just pretend so that I don't have to rewrite this.
I don't think I own a single pair of pants that has pockets big enough for this unit.
Why does a backpack this size even exist? I'm pretty sure that you could fit every single other thing from this article in that backpack — and still have room to spare.
I'm hardly exaggerating when I say that this leaf is bigger than my bed.
If this little girl keeps picking up this cat, she's gonna become a bit of a unit herself.
Apparently, my life has become a fitness ad from an Archie comic.
This look says, "I know I promised myself that I would eat healthy today, but I also know that there are arrowroot cookies and Betty Crocker frosting in the kitchen, and that I'm going to make some sandwiches out of it as soon as I can convince myself to get up."
Fun fact — apparently Mothra is going to be in the new Godzilla: King of the Monsters. I hear that Millie Bobby Brown is going to be in it, and I hope she's playing the moth.
Just how big are the peppercorns that this dude is grinding? Is he sticking a whole pepper tree in there? I obviously don't know how peppers grow.
This one obviously chose to be a girth-affe.
