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40 Cringey Couples That Are Too Cute To Function

by Diply
8 years ago
in Humor
Reading Time: 9 mins read
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I’ve been single for, no offense, literal ages, but it’s totally okay. I love going on dates and meeting new people. I love free meals. I love being over-complimented by eager men looking to please.

But sometimes, a phone filled with texts you left on read just doesn’t warm your soul like it used to, and you ponder the idea of monogamy.

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Could monogamy be mo-hoggin’-me?

1. If I took a photo that looked this good, I’d make my S.O carry it around with them everywhere, too.

Image credit: Twitter | @Flirtationship
Twitter | @Flirtationship

Also, physically printing out a picture is a lost art. This is basically a fossil. That makes me hella emotional.

2. Again with the printouts.

Image credit: Twitter | @FIirtationship
Twitter | @FIirtationship

But why am I crying? If someone can love me with my face blown up like dis, he is a keeper. As in, I am keeping him locked up. As in, he is a prisoner of my love. As in, good luck leaving me and my blown-up face.

Actual footage of me eating ice cream:

Yeah, see? No one is gonna wanna show this ice-cream soaked mustache off on a glossy-finish poster. And that’s okay, I’ve accepted that about myself.

3. I know what you’re thinking: we’ve seen this before.

Image credit: Instagram | @textpostsfromthevoid
Instagram | @textpostsfromthevoid

But look, this one is inscribed, hoes! Therefore, it is even more extra and more romantic.

I used to hang Jonas Brothers posters around my room and hoped that through reverse osmosis Nick Jonas would love me.

AT LEAST THE POSTERS WORKED FOR SOMEONE.

4. Well, Pascal sounds like a douche.

Image credit: Twitter | @RelationGoaIs
Twitter | @RelationGoaIs

We all know a Pascal. But this guy is determined to not let the Pascals of the world win. He’s also holding a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream that hasn’t even melted yet. Love truly creates miracles.

5. Oh, to be called “Princess” by someone other than myself!

Image credit: Twitter | @Flirtationship
Twitter | @Flirtationship

Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the most basic princess of them all?

Literally me, ’cause I can recognize that Starbucks is a Venti Iced Caramel Machiatto, extra caramel. So. Yeah.

6. Wooow.

Image credit: Twitter | @RelationGoaIs
Twitter | @RelationGoaIs

Am I gonna sit here and act like I didn’t make a custom geofilter for my birthday? No. But I had to design it for my damn self. An anniversary and birthday filter made for me? How is that amount of happiness even allowed on this trash fire planet?

Like, where can I find me a mans like this?

Last year, my crush texted me three days late for my birthday, and I cried tears of joy for the rest of the afternoon. Like, what? A man who is considerate and kind? Who dis?

7. I hate picnics.

Image credit: Twitter | @RelationGoaIs
Twitter | @RelationGoaIs

But this is a bae-nic so, it’s way better. If I have to sit outside, at least tell me how pretty I am and give me gifts. This guy is on the right track.

Also, why am I crying?

But all this bae-nic stuff is outside, and I hate the outdoors.

So, like, suck it, happy and adorable couple. I am so happy indoors. Really, I am. I can make a picnic inside. On my bed. It’s called a nap.I’m sleeping for 3 days, bye.

8. Peep these 33 flavors of love, though.

Image credit: Instagram | @relationships.usa
Instagram | @relationships.usa

Love is sweet. So is ice cream. I have significantly more experience with the latter of the two. Honestly, a phone case with my face on it should be standard — heads up, future bf.

9. I once had to glue a fake toenail on my big toe to spend my first night over with a guy who didn’t know my big toe nails tend to fall off, leaving a horrifyingly naked big toe in its wake.

Image credit: Instagram | @relationships.usa
Instagram | @relationships.usa

So this is kind of the same thing?

No?

Not at all?

OoOoOokay. cool.

10. But sometimes, we gotta treat our mans back.

Image credit: @relationship.usa | @relationship.usa
@relationship.usa | @relationship.usa

Ugh, I know, it sucks. But sometimes, we have to be selfless. Or so I’ve heard. IDK, I’ve never tried it. But it seems like it makes them happy. And a haircut is always a good idea. #deathtomanbuns

11. Pretty sure this is illegal.

Image credit: Instagram | @relationships.usa
Instagram | @relationships.usa

But what is more romantic than risking it all for me? If a guy isn’t willing to spend at least 10 years to life in jail to be with me, WTF are you even doing, boy?

12. But sometimes, it’s just the thought that counts.

Image credit: Twitter | @Jessicaacutie
Twitter | @Jessicaacutie

A sense of humor is a priceless gift and can be surprisingly hard to find. Especially when your sense of humor is drier than the dead skin on my feet.

You’re welcome for that visual.

13. A picture is worth a thousand words.

Image credit: Instagram | @relationships.usa
Instagram | @relationships.usa

14. Speaking of portraits, why stop at a frame?

Image credit: Instagram | @relationships.usa
Instagram | @relationships.usa

Nothing says true love like painted canvas. At least it’s not printed canvas, then we’d have real issues.

15. Embrace each other’s inner child.

Image credit: Instagram | @_theblessedone
Instagram | @_theblessedone

Gotta have fun in your relationship for it to last. It’s a good thing when you can be big kids together.

16. Moral of the story: ignore and you’ll get more.

Image credit: Twitter | @_jodieduncan
Twitter | @_jodieduncan

If I got a MAC gift card every time a drunk boy disappointed me, I would own the store. Twice over.

17. I wonder if this customized air freshener smells like Pine Fresh or Clean Laundry?

Image credit: Twitter | @annaxdoan
Twitter | @annaxdoan

Whatever it is, I’m sure it smells like *loOoOove.*

18. At least he’s stepping up to take responsibility!

Image credit: Reddit | robin60062
Reddit | robin60062

Although this may not be the best time.

19. Forget the 12 Days of Christmas, try the 25 Days of Baemas!

Image credit: Twitter | @_hannahogilvie
Twitter | @_hannahogilvie

*looks down at cheap chocolate advent calendar and cries*

20. That is one kind, comfortable boyfriend.

Image credit: Twitter | @BioLegend
Twitter | @BioLegend

21. Imagine if every step you take, you take with bae

Image credit: Instagram | @realtionships.usa
Instagram | @realtionships.usa

Going for a walk? Going with bae. Going to school? Going with bae. Going to work? Going with bae. Just make sure no one steps on your toes cause then oops #RIPbae.

22. No joke, Nokia phones have lasted longer than a majority of marriages.

Image credit: Reddit | jung007
Reddit | jung007

23. This is all I want in life.

Image credit: Twitter | @NAFNAF_
Twitter | @NAFNAF_

Seriously, what more could you want?!

24. Promposals will never be the same again.

Image credit: Twitter | @claire_short_13
Twitter | @claire_short_13

This guy literally ran around her neighborhood to spell the word prom on a fitness tracker. That is dedication I have yet to see personally. Most WEDDING proposals are not even this extra.

25. Putting bae on your phone case lets everyone know who you’re texting all the time.

Image credit: Twitter | @titobugarin
Twitter | @titobugarin

But let’s be real — if you’re this extra, everyone probably already knows who you’re texting all the time.

26. Much like true love, taco’s transcend any distance

Image credit: Instagram | @zero_fucksgirl
Instagram | @zero_fucksgirl

27. Because science is sexy.

Image credit: Imgur | Imgur
Imgur | Imgur

And so is bacon. Mmm bacteria-covered bacon.

28. Let me draw you like one of my French girls.

Image credit: Twitter | @lexieatsass
Twitter | @lexieatsass

I get it. People don’t print out their pictures anymore. But maybe we should start. Like, asap.

29. Bae print.

Image credit: Twitter | @CallMeFebreze
Twitter | @CallMeFebreze

TBH from a distance, this could pass as a very hipster print top from Urban Outfitters. He also looks equal amounts of thrilled and petrified. My question is, where does one wear such a top?

30. Find someone who shares your dreams

Image credit: Imgur | justinG07
Imgur | justinG07

Even if those dreams come smothered in queso and wrapped in tinfoil.

31. We get it, your marriage is where it’s at.

Image credit: Twitter | @guaacamoll
Twitter | @guaacamoll

Sorry, did that sound bitter?

32. The only kind of shade your girl needs.

Image credit: Instagram | @boyfriendgoals
Instagram | @boyfriendgoals

See, we love shade…as long as it’s sparkly!

33. It’s okay to be cheap if you’re also kinda sweet.

Image credit: Twitter | @vanessanickles
Twitter | @vanessanickles

Every girl likes a bad boy.

34. This kid’s half the size of a full grown man, but he’s got twice as much game.

Image credit: Twitter | @_tabatha_15
Twitter | @_tabatha_15

35. Even when divorced, this couple is happier than most of us.

Image credit: Twitter | @_emmabecerra
Twitter | @_emmabecerra

36. Think you’ve spoiled your girl before? Think again.

Image credit: Twitter | @heymikal
Twitter | @heymikal

This stresses me out too, tbh.

37. I am blown away by this display.

Image credit: Twitter | @cutiechad_
Twitter | @cutiechad_

I guess all we really can hope for in this lifetime is someone who wants to see the same picture of our face literally 100 times a day.

38. Marry someone who’s as weird as you are.

Image credit: Twitter | @vvexedd
Twitter | @vvexedd

I have no idea what’s happening here, but it’s kinda cute? Yeah, let’s go with cute.

39. Acing the test of time.

Image credit: Reddit | D5R
Reddit | D5R

Happy wife, happy life. I’m sure Jan wears the pants in the relationship.

40. And finally, one boy who is sure to never let his gf forget she’s his real-life Disney princess.

Image credit: Twitter | @lyanaazman
Twitter | @lyanaazman

The seamless blending. The creativity. The amazing, spot-on captions. The use of the dog filter. It is perfection, tbh.

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