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Parents Disagree On Whether Their 11-Year-Old Twins Should Still Bathe Together

Ryan Ford 22 May 2019

Parenting is the sort of thing that makes minefields look like a walk in the park. You know there are all kinds of dangers out there, and you can protect your kids from the ones you know about, but life is going to throw the unexpected at you, too.

You can try your best, but unexpected situations still happen.

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Honestly, I'm not sure if you can every be prepared for all the curve balls life will toss your way. For example, this odd disagreement between two parents.

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Many parents who have multiple little ones will bathe them together.

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And why not? It's a huge saver of precious time and energy. But at some point, those parents will feel the time is right for their youngsters to start bathing separately. The question is, when is the right time?

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One dad went looking to Reddit for some answers.

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In a since-deleted post, the dad asked for some guidance for his particular situation involving his twin son and daughter.

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"When we first had them, we bathed them at the same time just to save time."

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"And because it's easier to keep an eye on them if they're in the same place," he explained.

"But they're about to hit puberty (Just turned 11 last month) and I don't think they should be doing it anymore."

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"It's not normal for pubescent children to bathe together, even twins," he wrote.

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"When I was younger I never saw my siblings naked, and I think that's the way it should be. It's not just this, though. They're very close."

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"They hang out all the time at home, in each other's rooms."

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"They hug all the time and they hold hands in public." He explained.

The real friction, however, is that his wife disagrees with him.

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"I brought it up with my wife, and she disagreed," he wrote.

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"She says they've been doing it their whole life, they're just kids, etc, what's the problem with it? She says it's wrong for me to sexualize them in the first place, since they're just kids and they're siblings. What do you think? Am I just being a prude?"

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There were definitely a lot of people on Reddit who thought the situation had hit the "weird" point a long time ago.

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"The hugging and holding hands is fine, they love each other," one person wrote. "The bathing together, at age 11? That's creepy."

"To be honest, they should've been separately bathing since at least 5-6 years old," wrote another. "I started showering by myself at around that time."

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A few people could see both sides of the argument.

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"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion," wrote one user. "Your opinion is based on societal norms and pressures and I think your wife’s opinion either stems from this being normal in her family."

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"Or not accepting that your children are growing up."

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The commenter finished, "(leaning toward the latter based on her comment)". It can be hard to accept that your kids aren't little kids anymore, or that they won't be forever.

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Some folks thought that the parents needed to consider their kids' point of view.

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"Please don’t listen to the people who are calling your kids creepy and abnormal. They are neither of those things," wrote one person. "You’re made uncomfortable because you see these baths as being adjacent to an act of incest."

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"But your kids are prepubescent children and DO NOT see it that way."

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The commenter continued, "From their perspective, this is how they bathe and how they have always bathed. It is fine if you and your wife want to talk to them about separating their bathing/shower schedules..."

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"But you need to frame it as a step towards adulthood."

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"Not the prohibition of an abnormal practice or inappropriate behavior." It would be extremely easy for these kids to start feeling shamed or guilty about their bathing habits.

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And, in fact, many agreed that if they wanted to stop their kids bathing together, it would be best handled with care.

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"It’s a conversation to have with them so they understand while they aren’t doing anything wrong it’s not the norm and their bodies are about to change and they may need to reconsider how they feel about their privacy," one person commented.

What do you think?

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