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New 'Beesexual' Campaign Is Trying To Turn You On To Saving The Bees

mason.zimmer 18 Apr 2019

We're often told that we don't know what we've got until it's gone and over the last decade, we've learned how important bees are to our world the hard way.

As news about the decline of bee populations becomes more and more grim, scientists have made it abundantly clear that we stand to lose much of our food supply if they die off completely.

Although it may seem strange that this comes as a particular concern to the website PornHub, the AV Club reported that the porn website has a history of charitable campaigns, including giving away a $25,000 college scholarship and efforts to help panadas reproduce.

And the more we learn about their "Beesexual" campaign, the more PornHub and bees seem like a match made in Heaven.

In a video announcing their new campaign, PornHub declares that nature is "beesexual," as opposed to bisexual.

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By that, they mean that most plants and trees rely on bees for their own sexual purposes.

As Fernanda S. Valdovinos explained in a Ted-Ed video, bees get nourishment from these plants in exchange for "matchmaking" them with each other and spreading their genetic information.

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And when plants are sexually satisfied, they're better able to produce fruits and vegetables.

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So when plants go through a dry spell, everybody loses. And with bees becoming in greater danger of dying off, so too do the suddenly celibate plants they leave behind.

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Not only does PornHub not want to see our healthy food supplies shrink, but the destruction of nature's sex life is abhorrent to everything they stand for.

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This is why they've introduced "Beesexual," which adult film star Abella Danger describes in their video as "a whole new genre of porn dedicated to saving the bees."

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It may be hard to picture what this would even look like, but rest assured that it doesn't involve people nervously getting busy next to beehives.

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Instead, videos posted in the "Beesexual" genre depict actual foraging bees, which are then transformed into what Danger describes as "funny, kinky nature porn."

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This is accomplished by having porn stars moan and scream with pleasure over the nature footage.

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For instance, Brett Rossi yells, "Oh my, his pistils are hung like a tree" while two bees enter a blooming flower.

As you can see, this campaign has brought a lot of stars together to dub over pollination like a Bizarro universe version of "We Are the World."

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And of course, these videos will appear with the kind of titles that have PornHub the star of many memes.

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And yes, in this case, you can definitely expect the "bees" to have the appropriate accents.

Of course, this idea may inspire people to ask how cooing suggestively over videos of pollination actually saves the bees.

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The answer comes not in the videos themselves, but in how they're received.

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For every view one of these videos receives, PornHub will make a donation to bee-saving charities.

Although neither the video nor the Beesexual website discloses how much money each view translates to, the idea is that more views means more money is set aside to save the bees.

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If you're curious about the campaign, here is the full video introducing it.

The Beesexual website also features some bee-saving tips we can use ourselves, such as adding a little basin of water or a blooming plant to the windowsill or letting lawns go un-weeded.

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