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This Valentine's Day You Can Name A Cockroach After An Ex For Only $2

Ryan Ford 30 Jan 2019

Personally, I'm not one to hold a lot of grudges, but I can kinda see the appeal, especially for those of us who like to nurture things and see them grow. Hey, sometimes things go badly, and you have to nurse your hurt before you can let it go.

And you do have to express yourself, right? When you're feeling hurt and wronged, you can't just do nothing!

Sometimes, there's a fine line between pettiness and catharsis.

Giphy | Big Little Lies

One indulges your vengeful side, and the other offloads the weight of emotion.

It might be petty to send your ex a flaming, salty text, and it might be cathartic to cut them out of every photograph you ever took together. Catharsis can really help you get over an ex, but pettiness seldom does.

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The latest way to get one back on your ex? Name a cockroach after them.

Facebook | Hemsley Conservation Centre

If they're no better than a low-down, dirty roach, why not name an actual cockroach after them? Maybe you already have depending on the cleanliness of your apartment.

But you can make it official for less than $2, thanks to the folks at the Hemsley Conservation Centre.

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"For those that don’t quite require revenge, there’s another way to make you feel better about getting back at your ex this Valentine’s Day."


"The HCC is offering the chance to name a cockroach in honor of your, or your friend's worthless ex-'someone' on this special holiday of love," Hemsley wrote on Facebook.

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But what does it really mean to name a cockroach? Like, what do you get out of it?


Well, for a whole $2 that goes towards funding various projects at Hemsley, they'll send you a certificate and put your roach's name up on the board at their cockroach enclosure.

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The certificate gets you admission to the facility within a certain window, but otherwise, it's just a keepsake.

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"Please note that the cockroaches name will not appear on the certificate. We don't want to fuel a fire, so this is a keepsake for you or your friend, although should you wish - the certificate does come complete with a message box," the facility said.

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They do emphasize that they only want the cockroach's first name.

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You have to imagine that things could get awkward/salty/downright vulgar awfully quickly where exes are concerned. Let's keep it clean and family appropriate, folks.

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Naming a cockroach doesn't quite make it yours, however.


They're limiting it to naming because "we think adopt is a little too strong, after all - you probably don't want to adopt your ex." Hard to argue with that!

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If you happen to be in the U.K., you do have an extra option.


HCC is also selling gift boxes of handmade soap, shampoo, and bath truffles in connection with the cockroach naming ceremony.

"Time to wash that ex not only out of your hair, but your entire body!" the HCC said.

The gift boxes run £14.99 and again, are only available to U.K. customers.

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If nothing else, it's a bit of fun at the expense of someone who wronged you, and it goes to a good cause.

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Whether you're in a vengeful mood or just a playful one, head on over to the Hemsley Conservation Centre here to name a cockroach after your ex.

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