The reality of being an adult is so different from the fantasy we all created when we were younger.
You can't tell me you ever imagined yourself going to bed at 10 PM every night, force-feeding yourself vitamins, or getting excited when your favorite brand of toilet paper goes on sale. I'm sure you were picturing something a bit more exciting.
But that's not what it's really like being a grown up, is it? No, unfortunately it's a lot more like these quotes.
I stood up from my desk too quickly the other day and twisted my ankle, so let's add "working from home" to the list of things that inexplicably cause me injuries now.
Right there along with "sleeping" and "getting up from the couch."
You have to recite little songs like this to yourself before leaving the house, and when you walk into any room you immediately forget why you wanted to go in there in the first place.
Basically, your memory just goes MIA when you're an adult.
Nothing has shocked me more as an adult than learning just how expensive fresh fruit is, or how much it costs to buy one single block of cheese.
This. This is why people order takeout so often.
Yeah, now you've got to actually think about silly things like your heart, so you have to try to actually plan healthy meals and drink water instead of coffee.
But who are we kidding? You still drink so much coffee.
It doesn't matter how much sleep you get anymore. You could get four hours, you could get 10 hours — you're still going to wake up in the morning feeling like a bag of hot garbage that no amount of coffee can fix.
You now need hot bean juice to help you function.
What's that? You don't like coffee? Doesn't matter. You need it. So you better start drinking it if you want to be able to deal with people today.
Seriously, why did they have to change everything? What was wrong with the old system? Now I have to go wandering up and down the aisles like I'm new here because suddenly it's not so simple to find the barbecue sauce I like!
