Quotes That Prove Adulthood Is Just A Series Of Aching Joints

You know what I miss? The ability to sleep anywhere at any time that came with being a teenager and young adult.

I used to be able to stay up half the night, then just fall into my unmade bed, half the time still wearing jeans, sleep soundly, and then get up and face the day without even the need for coffee.

Now if I don't get up at least once for a pee break, it's a miracle.


And that ability to sleep even while still in jeans simply due to being too lazy to change?

Now I'm picky about the exact fabric my "sleeping tank tops" are because the slightest wrinkle or twist will keep me awake.

Is there a weird twist in my top sheet that keeps bunching near my toes?

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I'm sorry, but the whole bed is going to need to be remade before I can even consider falling asleep.

And OMG, the aches and pains.

Depending on how I slept in the night, I can wake up seemingly locked into place from sheer stiffness.


Those first few minutes of the morning have become a slow process of carefully stretching each joint into mobility without alerting the dogs to it.

You see, one of my dogs sees a "big stretch" as a cue to climb on my chest and start licking my face.

It's sweet, but I prefer to be able to move a bit before it starts.

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If only so that my hands are equipped to block his tongue from reaching my eyeballs.

Failure to loosen everything up before alerting either dog means moving before my aging joints are ready and I may as well just serve my coffee with an Advil chaser.

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