Quotes For When That Thirty-Second Plank Feels Like A Year

I do not understand people who enjoy physical exertion. The whole post-workout endorphin rush must be a myth because all I ever feel after exercise is the intense need of a shower.

And that says something, because I am not a fan of water in general. If they could invent a way for humans to be clean and hygienic without getting wet, I'd be the first in line.

It's not that I don't get any exercise at all.

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I walk my dogs and do my best to move around instead of bingeing Netflix all the time, but my heart rate rarely increases the way I've always been told means you're actually exercising.

People always tell me to just do one of those super-fast high intensity workouts.


"It's only 20 minutes of your day!"

No, it's not. It's an hour of talking myself into doing it, then finding my one set of workout clothes from the bottom of my closet. Then I have to get changed and check all the windows to make sure none of my neighbors can look in and see my pathetic attempts at burpees.

Then afterwards, there's the whole process of dragging myself to the shower to wash the sweat off.

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Followed by the twenty minutes spent lying on my bed in my bathrobe begging my body to keep moving just long enough to get dressed in fresh clothes and make it to the couch.

And you expect me to do this multiple times per week?

Twitter | @MArieLoerzel

No thanks.

That whole process just feels like an eternity that I could instead spend doing literally anything else.

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