As one woman's wedding day steadily approached, she began making a list of funds she knew she would have to make it the most wonderful celebration of love possible, including $20,000 her parents had put aside for her.
But as it turns out, that money came with one condition she had previously been unaware of; one that would make it unsuitable for her own wedding.
And that condition was the $20,000 was only to be used if she was marrying a man.
Posted to the subreddit r/AmITheAsshole, the mom began by explaining they had set the money aside for their little girl's college fund, but when she earned a scholarship that covered almost her entire tuition, they offered to just give her money up front.
But their daughter refused, and instead suggested they keep it for when she gets married. Her parents happily agreed, and the money was tucked away for safe keeping.
Not only that, but she began dating a woman around that time as well.
"[This] shocked us a lot because we never saw her as the type," the mother recalled. "My husband and I were really upset because we loved the idea of her having a husband and a family, grandchildren for us. We thought it was just a phase."
As wedding planning began, she and her fiancée showed up at her parents home with a book they had used to keep track of money for the big day. And that was when her mom noticed she had made note of the $20,000 promised to her a few years earlier.
"She questioned us and we were upfront and said we agreed for her to use that money under the assumption she was marrying a man," the mom explained.
Hearing this understandably upset their daughter's betrothed, who snapped at her in-laws and accused them of being homophobic. Stunned, the daughter remained silent at her side.
Her mom corrected her that the money was "saved with a specific use", and since their daughter wasn't going to be marrying a man, there was no longer any use for it.
"She left in a huff and told us to never speak to her again," the mother said.
"I think she is being very ungrateful," the mom said of her engaged daughter. "I am not homophobic I respect same sex couples it is just not what I wanted for my daughter."
Then she posed one question to the good people of Reddit: is she an asshole?
"It’s not even about the money, it’s about how you refusing to give the money clearly shows that you don’t consider her relationship valid or good enough," this person wrote. "It shows that you think less of her because of her sexuality, and that’s horrible."
Someone else added, "If you’re so homeopathic (homophobic) that you won’t pay for your daughters wedding as promised, then you don’t have any right to be part of any family she creates with her wife."
"You should also know that same sex couples can adopt or get a donor," one user said, "and you're on a fast track to never being able to see your grandchildren, deservedly so."
Another added, "I hate when parent use 'I wanted grandchildren' as an excuse for homophobia. If the daughter was infertile they would’ve probably happily accepted that and be fine with her adopting/not having kids, same sex couples can do that too!"
"I wasn’t expecting this reaction," she wrote. "Thank you for the lovely messages threatening me and calling me a homophobe. I have rethought my stance and I will be trying to be more understanding of my daughter."
Although it's unclear whether or not the parents have decided their daughter deserves her wedding fund, it appears the mom has at least decided to be more open-minded about her daughter's sexuality. Which is a start, anyway.
h/t: Reddit
