14+ Memes To Make Women Laugh And Say, 'Ain't That The Truth'

I'm currently in the middle of planning for a beautiful, rustic fall wedding that I am nowhere close to ever having so that should answer just about every Pinterest-related question you have about me and my priorities.

Once upon a time someone taught men that the way to end any disagreement is with a hug rather than an apology or a simple, "I was wrong."

And that kind of mindset needs to change ASAP.

I'm always really unsatisfied about being single until someone comes along and tries to change that for me.

Nah, I'm good Jake. Move along.

I get that running is "good for you" and it'll help me become "healthier" and "live a longer life."

But it still just doesn't sound worth it, you know?

As soon as I run out of acceptable underwear and am faced with the decision of either doing laundry or wearing that piece of dental floss I bought as a teenager, that's when I grab the detergent.

I don't know why we all act like being asked to be a bridesmaid is such an honor.

Let's be real: it's just a damn hassle.

I don't think I've ever used that button for anything besides curing under-boob sweat after drying my hair for twenty minutes. And you're telling me that might not even be what it's for?

Sometimes I find myself twenty-people deep on Facebook, researching the GoFundMe campaign for a business belonging to someone I don't know. And that's usually when I have to turn off my phone for a little while and think about why I am the way I am.

There's nothing quite like taking a gamble and wearing a romper out for the day, only to end up in a public restroom with your tatas hanging out and your heart pounding every time you hear someone walk in front of your stall.

Not only is that mascara expensive but so is that foundation. So do yourself a favor and get over that guy ASAP so we don't have to take another pricey trip to Sephora.

Excuse me while I take all four hairbands and thirty-five bobby pins out of my hair so I can try a different style that won't make me feel like someone is watching me through my screen.

Yesterday I put on jeans, did my makeup, and straightened my hair just to eat macaroni and cheese right out of the pot while watching Jeopardy.

We're all doing the best we can right now.

I really need to start hiding my credit card from drunk-me because that lady has no clue what qualifies as an "essential purchase" and what's just going to end up shoved in the back of our closet for the next four years.

I usually going out in public feeling somewhat presentable, but that all goes away the second I get in front of one of those camera ans realize I look like Ms. Trunchbull from Matilda.

Thanks, Target.

If we were all supposed to be models, then who would buy the magazines, right? So I'm going to go ahead and eat that pizza because we all have a role to play on this earth.

And while we're on the subject, I think we should all agree to just ignore our grown-out roots and our bushy eye brows and our fingernails that haven't seen a manicurist in months.

Okay???

Look, I'm not saying I snoop through my boyfriend's phone or anything!

But on a completely different note, I have figured out that he showers for almost exactly twenty-two minutes and if I need a window of opportunity, that's the perfect one.

I really like when someone takes a candid picture of me so I can see that the relaxed, pleasant face I thought I was making was actually a bitchy grimace that everyone probably thought meant I hated being in their company.

I know we're only just tasting the start of summer right now, but can we please take a moment to appreciate that it's going to be fall again soon and I just can't wait to be sucked back into autumn-themed marketing schemes?

I've long given up on trying to figure out which one it is, and now I've accepted that some days it's Monroe, while other days it's Manson.

And on certain days of the month, they combine into Marilyn Monroson. That's just how it is.