So I'm sure that everyone knows you can't spell happiness without struggle, right? Right. Since we're all on the same page here, let me continue preaching about the trials and tribulations we all face on the regular.
As I was saying, if you don't hit a few bumps in the road, are you even driving? I don't think so.
Straws must be stopped. Can we not simply sip like regular people?
I'm glad this isn't part of my very specific job description, because I am way too advanced for this kind of responsibility.
I think we all need to be reminded of our own mortality at some point. Otherwise, we can take a lot for granted.
As someone who has been thoroughly embarrassed by her parents on multiple occasions, I can spot a mortifying situation from a mile away.
If you haven't lit pasta on fire, then you haven't even attempted making a legit Italian meal. Trust me, I know some real Italians.
The rest of us are stuck shaking the vending machine for all eternity.
Hacking into a package of frozen flesh just makes my stomach turn, and I'm not even a vegan.
Just when I think I've got everything under control, it just slips right through my fingers.
If you can't wear your shoes they way they were made to be worn, then are they even shoes at all?
What's wrong with Michelle? She was supportive, average, regular, and predictable. We would all be lucky to find a Michelle to call our friend.
It's one of the most underrated skills in life, but it's also one of the most important.
Someone get this guy a new phone so everyone can go home.
Half of my packages haven't even arrived yet, but half of them have, so the glass is definitely half full.
Unfortunately, even an oil change can't fix this kind of problem.
You're probably en route to the jungle, so I would make a U-turn as soon as humanly possible.
Thank you, parents. I'm really loving the fact that I have to wear a pound of makeup before I leave the house.
I'm the kind of person who finds a lose thread, then unravels it until there's nothing left to destroy.
