Bet you didn't think you'd be reading about a deer's impromptu sex tape today, did you?
Well, I didn't think I'd be writing about one so I guess we were all in for a bit of a surprise.
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Deer Gets Frisky With Decoy Doe Until Her Head Pops Off And Ruins The Mood
A particularly frisky buck in Eldorado, Illinois, was recently caught getting it on with a special lady friend he came across in a family's backyard.
But this Lothario was in for a bit of a surprise when his unresponsive partner's head popped clear off mid-lovemaking. Definitely a mood-ruiner if I've ever seen one.
Thankfully for us, the entire scene was caught on video so we can witness the poor deer's shocking experience for ourselves.
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At the beginning of the clip, we see the randy buck approach what he clearly believes to be a rather beautiful doe standing in the middle of someone's backyard.
As it turns out, the deer was actually smitten with an inanimate object. Isn't that always the way?
According to New York Post, his incredibly life-like queen was actually a decoy the Bergans, a family of avid hunters, had placed outside their home.
But to this promiscuous deer, she was a fair-furred beauty just waiting for her prince charming.
The deer can be seen initially scoping out the scene, probably trying to get a read on the beautiful and impeccably still doe he stumbled upon.
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Meanwhile, an unseen child behind the camera witnessing the scene through a window remarks, "Oh my gosh, I'm so scared right now."
Suffice it to say, this kid wasn't exactly excited about the episode of Animal Planet that was about to play out in their own backyard.
After deciding he got the green light, the deer eventually gets down to business and... well, look away kiddos.
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"[He's] on top of it!" family matriarch Lana Bergan exclaims as she watches the buck mount the faux doe. "Don't move 'cause he'll see us. Watch. Watch!"
Oh, we're definitely watching, Lana. Don't you worry about that. Our sick curiosity knows no bounds.
As the deer... ahem, *does his thing*, the 2012 hit "Hero" by the band Family of the Year plays in the background to really set the mood.
You know the one:
"I don't wanna be your hero, I don't wanna be a big man, just wanna fight like everyone else."
That's baby making music right there.
The family can be heard struggling to keep it together as they watch the buck go to town on their decoy doe.
But they had no idea what was about to happen, and the deer definitely had no idea, either. To say this was probably a first for him is a huge understatement.
Mid-hump, the doe's head suddenly pops right off, startling her lover enough to make him dismount and stare in horror at his decapitated partner.
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He initially appears ready to run off into the woods and leave his beguiling beauty on the lawn for someone else to deal with. But then, perhaps remembering the love they once shared, he turns around and returns to the doe.
The deer can do little else but stare in soul-shattering disbelief at the product of his obviously over-eager lovemaking.
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Eventually, he gets close enough to give the doe's dearly departed head a cautious sniff.
This is likely when he realized he was getting it on with a piece of plastic, and also the moment where he decided he was going to look at any future lover's face first before climbing onto her back. Like a gentleman.
The video was posted online and quickly went viral, racking up nearly 5 million views on Facebook in a week.
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It was shared by the sporting goods company Nose Down Scents where it's been shared more than 70,000 times.
And of course, the comments are all from people offering their most clever and hilarious captions for the poor deer's less-than-romantic experience.
"That's why safe words are so important," one Facebook user wrote.
Another chimed in, "That buck is going to be traumatized for the rest of his life."
Watch the full video below.
A shortened version of the clip was later shared to Twitter where it got even more views and giggles.
But personally, I think this comment takes the metaphorical cake.
Twitter | @DarlaTheDarling
I just hope Carl's friends know the national no-snitching policy because this is one boys' night secret they're really going to need to keep to themselves. After all, police are still searching for Carl, the Buckshot Killer.
h/t: New York Post
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