Woman Leaves Home After BIL's Behavior Becomes Unbearable

Alfe Mercado
Sad woman in bed
Unsplash | M.

Living with family can be tough, especially when underlying issues have been left untreated. In this post, a woman shares her experience living with her brother-in-law, who had untreated autism. The situation escalated to the point where she had to move out, and she blamed her BIL for destroying two marriages. Despite going to therapy, her BIL's behavior was intolerable, and she had to take action. Read on to learn more about this family drama and how it played out.

Woman forced to flee home due to toxic BIL behavior 🏃🏻‍♀️

sorrydavenotstaying | sorrydavenotstaying

Dealing with untreated autism and therapy expectations.

sorrydavenotstaying | sorrydavenotstaying

🍔 Cooking stopped due to picky BIL Dave 🤷‍♀️

sorrydavenotstaying | sorrydavenotstaying

When chores become a battleground 🍽️👨‍🍳🔪

sorrydavenotstaying | sorrydavenotstaying

Living with BIL with autism, husband and therapy creates tension 😞

sorrydavenotstaying | sorrydavenotstaying

Escape from in-law hell? Remote work makes it possible! 🌴

sorrydavenotstaying | sorrydavenotstaying

Therapist's recommendations to ease BIL's life cause frustration 😒

sorrydavenotstaying | sorrydavenotstaying

Escape plan activated! 🛫✈️

sorrydavenotstaying | sorrydavenotstaying

Woman calls out BIL for ruining marriages with selfish behavior 👀

sorrydavenotstaying | sorrydavenotstaying

Woman stands up to toxic behavior and leaves for her sanity 🚶

sorrydavenotstaying | sorrydavenotstaying

Fed up with BIL's behavior, woman faces family backlash. 😒

sorrydavenotstaying | sorrydavenotstaying

Woman leaves home due to unbearable BIL's behavior 🤯

Living with family can be challenging, especially when conflicting personalities are involved. In this case, the woman's brother-in-law (BIL) with untreated autism has caused a rift in her relationship with her husband. Despite therapy, the BIL's behavior became unbearable, and the woman felt the need to leave. The BIL's demands and expectations, including dictating what the woman should cook, caused tension in the household, and things escalated when he got the woman's husband involved in therapy sessions. The woman's decision to move out was met with disapproval from her husband's family, who blamed her for the situation. However, the woman felt that she had no choice but to leave for her well-being. It's essential to prioritize one's mental health and happiness, even if it means making a difficult decision. In the following section, we'll look at how people react to this story.

BIL's behavior is ruining OP's marriage, NTA for leaving home.

notreallyme762 | notreallyme762

Therapy gone wrong? NTA for prioritizing marriage over BIL's demands. 💔

Slow-Bumblebee-8609 | Slow-Bumblebee-8609

BIL overstays welcome, husband prioritizes therapy over relationship, NTA.

BikingAimz | BikingAimz

Therapist's list seems suspicious, but OP may share blame for situation 🤔

PhysicsTeachMom | PhysicsTeachMom

Husband avoids cleaning, suggests solution but feels uneasy about it 😒

NeeliSilverleaf | NeeliSilverleaf

NTA. The brother needs to live by himself. Autism not relevant. 😔

Pm-me-your-bewb-pics | Pm-me-your-bewb-pics

Leaving was the right call 👍. A new start awaits 🚪

pajason | pajason

Clear boundaries were set, but BIL disrupted household dynamics 🤨

PalmTreeAmethyst | PalmTreeAmethyst

NTA for setting boundaries with BIL, but sexist reply.

SneezlesForNeezles | SneezlesForNeezles

OP wasn't consulted about caretaking, NTA for leaving. 🙌

angrybee93 | angrybee93

Autism doesn't give free reign to demand everyone to change 🧩

Cybermagetx | Cybermagetx

Setting boundaries and moving out to prioritize your own well-being✨

chiquimonkey | chiquimonkey

Communication breakdown leads to drastic decision. 👉🏻

thirdtryisthecharm | thirdtryisthecharm

Therapy only works if the person wants to work on themselves 💭

Zoenne | Zoenne

Supportive comment suggests husband is the true problem 💔

Adventurous-Sand6711 | Adventurous-Sand6711

Don't let anyone make you responsible for their therapy 🙅‍♀️

CoastalCerulean | CoastalCerulean

Commenters suggest BIL should leave, but husband disagrees 🤷‍♀️

hdmx539 | hdmx539

NTA. Woman refuses to live with non-autistic BIL, in-laws upset.

ComtesseRochambeau | ComtesseRochambeau

Commenter suggests alternatives to living with difficult BIL

Silver-Friendship656 | Silver-Friendship656

Supportive comment encourages woman to move on and prioritize herself 💪

Zibellina | Zibellina

Don't let toxic behavior poison your life. NTA 👍

No-Difficulty2393 | No-Difficulty2393

Setting boundaries with family can save marriages. 🙌

gorwraith | gorwraith

Supportive response to woman's decision to leave difficult living situation.

SoSleepySue | SoSleepySue

Taking care of someone doesn't mean being a doormat 🙅‍♀️

[deleted] | [deleted]

Setting boundaries with family can be difficult 😢

SnooWords4839 | SnooWords4839

Don't let anyone guilt you into fixing someone else's problems 💪

Lady_Ellie119 | Lady_Ellie119

SIL doubts BIL's therapist's plan, not the a-hole

newbeginingshey | newbeginingshey

Husband's brother overstaying causing havoc, commenter says NTA 👎

dobber1965 | dobber1965

Escaping a toxic living situation like a boss 🙌

Psychological-Rip980 | Psychological-Rip980

Curious about the list? Guess what tops the list!

StrawberryBlondely | StrawberryBlondely

Dave's behavior was unbearable, but OP is NTA for leaving 🚶

Pleasant_Cold | Pleasant_Cold

Woman not at fault for leaving home due to BIL

Aggressive-Sample612 | Aggressive-Sample612

Unspoken tensions arise in household, dishes only the beginning. 🤔

sparklymeteorite | sparklymeteorite

Navigating boundaries with in-laws can be tough. NTA here 👍

HoneyBeeMonarch | HoneyBeeMonarch

No a**hole here. Good for her to prioritize her well-being 🙌

Efficient-Cupcake247 | Efficient-Cupcake247

Prioritizing mental health is not selfish. 🙌

Gralb_the_muffin | Gralb_the_muffin

Commenter empathizes with woman's situation and condemns behavior 👍

Crimsonarcane | Crimsonarcane

Leave the toxic environment and make your own happy life 🌻

SlinkyMalinky20 | SlinkyMalinky20

Don't let ableism and misogyny make you a maid. 👏

Emotional_Answer_646 | Emotional_Answer_646

Glad she's not dealing with that a**hole anymore. 🙌

loginorregister9 | loginorregister9

Standing up to ableism and misogyny, one dish at a time 🍽️

meifahs_musungs | meifahs_musungs

NTA for leaving, but communication and therapy could've helped. 🤝

communalmayonnaise | communalmayonnaise

Therapist's note enabling BIL's behavior causing family distress 😞

Comfortable-Lead-836 | Comfortable-Lead-836

Autistic commenter takes responsibility, declares not the a**hole. 👏

star-juice-straw | star-juice-straw

Spouse prioritizing BIL over wife with autism - NTA

Mission-Cloud360 | Mission-Cloud360

Commenter sympathizes with OP and suggests divorce with husband.

[deleted] | [deleted]

Misogynistic BIL expects woman to cook and clean. NTA! 🙅‍♀️

thankyoukindlyy | thankyoukindlyy

OP's BIL expects too much from her, even wants her to cook for him 🙄

Opinionated_123 | Opinionated_123

Therapy isn't about making the world suit you 🌍

Isnt_a_girl | Isnt_a_girl

Debate on whether the husband is obligated to care for his brother.

yurilovesrice | yurilovesrice

Dave's behavior causes family rift; NTA stands up to him.

makeshiftmarty | makeshiftmarty

Don't enable bad behavior. Therapy should help, not manipulate.

truecrimefanatic1 | truecrimefanatic1

Therapist troubles and toxic BIL lead to justifiable departure 👋

SnooPickles5616 | SnooPickles5616

Therapy shouldn't be weaponized. NTA for leaving.

akasteoceanid | akasteoceanid

Woman rightfully leaves home due to unbearable BIL's behavior 👏

[deleted] | [deleted]

Spouse in therapy with BIL tries to impose on married life. NTA

puppyfarts99 | puppyfarts99

Curious if there's a hidden meaning behind the suggestion of therapy 🤔

BroadElderberry | BroadElderberry

Support for woman leaving toxic living situation with BIL 🙌

Bakemydaybaby | Bakemydaybaby

Commenter questions severity and missing information in autism discussion 🤔

Drewstosay | Drewstosay

Removing herself from an untenable situation, NTA but blaming Dave AH.

Grannywine | Grannywine

Commenter receives support after dealing with difficult family members 💪

frangen123 | frangen123

BIL's behavior was unbearable, but why isn't he with family?

Leather-Anybody-5389 | Leather-Anybody-5389

Don't let your BIL's needs ruin your marriage 💔

bettytomatoes | bettytomatoes