Can You Go Too Far When Defending Your Spouse?

Azka
brothers fighting
Shutterstock | 1020994

When it comes to disagreements between family members, it can be difficult to know when to stand your ground and when to take a step back. One Reddit user recently encountered a disagreement with their brother over their wife’s makeup, leading to a heated exchange and some harsh words. Is the original poster (OP) justified in their anger and the language they used, or did they go too far?

Family dynamics can be tricky, but is it ever okay to "go too far" when defending your spouse?

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Defending your spouse is admirable, but how do you strike a balance between standing up for them and knowing when to let it go?

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A wife's Christmas gift sparks a debate: when it comes to defending your spouse, can you go too far?

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Testing out her makeup skills, she looks great all the time - even without it!

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He may tease her, but it's all in good fun as she looks glamorous while working from home in her pajamas!

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Defending your spouse is one thing, but is it possible to go too far? 🤔

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When defending your spouse, how far is too far?

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Defending your spouse is important, but where do you draw the line?

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How far is too far when defending your spouse? Respect and understand the boundaries.

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Defending your spouse is important, but when is it too far? 🤔

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Defending your spouse is important, but how far is too far?

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When it comes to protecting your spouse, is there such a thing as going too far? 🤔

When it comes to protecting your spouse, is there such a thing as going too far? This is the question posed by an anonymous Redditor after describing a situation with their brother, who has been making inappropriate and overly opinionated comments regarding the Redditor's wife. The Redditor's wife is a former model and actress in her mid-thirties and has recently been experimenting with makeup as a creative outlet. The Redditor's brother has accused her of using makeup to attract men and cheat, leading to a heated confrontation. The Redditor's response was to yell 'insecure testicle man baby!' in anger. The Redditor's post has sparked a conversation, with many commenters sharing their thoughts and experiences. Let's dive into the comments and reactions to see what people have to say.

Defending your spouse 👊👊

MistressOfNecropolis | MistressOfNecropolis

The original comment is in support of the initial poster, who defended their spouse against a brother who accused them of wanting to cheat. Replies provided further examples and experiences of similar situations, all condoning the action of the initial poster.

Surviving the pandemic together 💪

Jazzisa | Jazzisa

The commenter is NTA (not the a**hole) for standing up for their spouse's creative hobby. Another commenter responds that their own wife had a tough time with Covid and is stuck at home with three kids, so they understand the need for a creative outlet.

Defending your spouse? 🤔

shangib723 | shangib723

NTA it sounds like the commenter truly loves their wife and appreciates them. The comment replies suggest that make-up may be an indication of boredom due to the current lockdown, not cheating.

🤔 Is There More To Brother's Behavior?

meggymoo88 | meggymoo88

The commenter suggests that the brother might have autism, and the replies question if it could just be a lack of social skills or general rudeness instead. No diagnosis has been made.

NTA: Defending your spouse ✊

I_am_Rubber | I_am_Rubber

Commenter says NTA (not the a**hole) to the original post. They suggest the brother was well-intentioned, but for the wrong reasons, and that the name-calling didn't convey why it was wrong. The replies express appreciation and agree that the original poster should have a calm heart-to-heart with the brother to explain why what he said was wrong.

NTA: 🤷‍♀️ He's a misogynist

ImpossibleBop | ImpossibleBop

The comment declared 'NTA' (not the a**hole) and stated that the spouse is a misogynist with 'weirdo hangups'.

💖 A supportive spouse!

FrostbittenFires | FrostbittenFires

The comment applauds the attitude of the spouse for understanding that the decisions are being made for themselves and not for other people. The comment also calls out the brother as an a**hole and praises the spouse as a wonderful person.

👏 Supporting your spouse's hobby!

alwaysiamdead | alwaysiamdead

The commenter is NTA (Not The A**hole) for supporting their spouse's hobby and thinks their brother is an a**hole for disagreeing.

NTA 🤩 Celebrating 🎉 with a full glam look 💅!

chunkeymunkeyandrunt | chunkeymunkeyandrunt

The commenter agrees that it is Not The A**hole to dress up for a Zoom party on New Year's Eve, even if it's just for yourself. They mention that their boyfriend liked their glam look, but it was for them and a happy bonus for their partner.

👩🏽‍🦱Women do it for themselves 💁🏽‍♀️

ladyk1487 | ladyk1487

The section comment states that women wear makeup for themselves, and not to impress men. The replies to the comment further highlight the fact that women do it for their own satisfaction and that male opinions are often irrelevant in the matter. Censored curse words like a**hole are used to express their frustration with the stereotype.

👊🏼 NTA: Defend your spouse!

Illustrious-Band-537 | Illustrious-Band-537

The comment defending the spouse states that they will use this quotation on the next person who chews them out for the way they do their makeup and the stuff they buy.

👍 NTA: Embracing the little things 💜

Absoluteseens | Absoluteseens

Commenter is "NTA" (not the a**hole) and is encouraging the other person to embrace the little things in life during the lockdown, like wearing makeup and buying a tiara. Reply is about enjoying the weirder colors and doing a complex eye look with purple glitter, although nobody will see it.

👍 Supporting your spouse!

yellowchaitea | yellowchaitea

The commenter NTA believes it makes perfect sense that the wife wants to buy some make-up and do something to bring her joy as she is likely almost always at home, especially during a pandemic. The commenter adds that women usually wear make-up for themselves to feel energized and not necessarily for their partners. A reply adds that it sucks for her.

A girl's gotta play 😉

Lovegivingadvice | Lovegivingadvice

The commenter joked that they had a new boyfriend and were running away when their family asked if they had one. The reply appreciated their lighthearted response to the situation.

👍 Spouse support!

[deleted] | [deleted]

The comment lauds the spouse for their support, giving them two thumbs up and a smiley face. 🤗

🤔 He grabbed somebody's testicles? 🤔

[deleted] | [deleted]

The comment suggests that if the spouse has grabbed somebody's testicles, then they would be 'Not The A**hole' (NTA). Otherwise, the comment suggests that they should come up with a more accurate insult. The replies provide insight into the source of the weird insult and that sometimes insults can come out as verbal typos.

NTA: 🤷‍♀️Women can’t win!

anxious_pokemon119 | anxious_pokemon119

The commenter is not the a**hole and suggests that women cannot win when it comes to how they present themselves, as men will find something to complain about either way.

Defending Marriage:NTA

DemonicSymphony | DemonicSymphony

The comment expresses that the brother is 'Not the A**hole' in this situation and defends the couple's marriage.

💁‍♂️ A man who understands! 💁‍♂️

dystopianpirate | dystopianpirate

The commentator is NTA (not the a**hole) and appreciates that the husband understands why women wear makeup. The commentator is glad that the wife is having fun.

Defending your spouse? 🤔

30_e | 30_e

NTA. The commenter argues that the brother is a jerk for thinking lowly of their spouse and that he should keep those thoughts to himself.

It's OK to call out your brother's wrong ideas 🤦‍♂️

SwiggyBloodlust | SwiggyBloodlust

The original comment called out a man's opinion about the evils of makeup and stated that the brother is a 'moron' for getting his ideas from dark internet corners. It concluded that the commenter is Not The A**hole in this situation.

Defending your spouse: 🤔🤭

IkonikBoy | IkonikBoy

The commenter is NTA (not the a**hole) for defending their spouse when their brother said that an ex-actress was cheating/wanting to cheat because she wore makeup. The replies explain that the brother didn't understand that she had to do her own makeup for theatre.

👊 NTA: no one deserves to be belittled for defending their spouse!

[deleted] | [deleted]

The comment states that it's not the a**hole (NTA) to yell back and hurt someone's feelings if they are belittling a spouse.

👩‍❤️‍👨 Spouse comes to the rescue!

redditor0210 | redditor0210

The commenter expressed sympathy for the wife's situation, saying she has been wearing makeup and dressing up just to go grocery shopping. The commenter said the husband was NTA - Not The A**hole - for trying to stop the conversations and not letting go.

👩‍❤️‍👨 A lesson in contouring!

antipetpeeves | antipetpeeves

The commenter suggests that the man wishes he could contour like his wife, and recommends that she give him a lesson. The commenter states that the man is "Not The A**hole" (NTA) in this situation.

A 38-year-old's admiration for a husband 🤩

elodierae | elodierae

The commenter is not the a**hole and praises the husband, wishing to find a spouse like him when they eventually grow up.

😜 Trying out makeup for fun!

RyotsGurl | RyotsGurl

NTA, the commenter believes that wearing makeup and trying new things can be a fun activity even if no one else will see it. The replies agree, highlighting that it's nice to have a makeup collection even if you don't wear it that often.

Women's self-care 💅

francescavita | francescavita

The comment highlights the fact that women usually wear makeup for themselves and not for men's pleasure.

👩🏼‍🦰 Makeup as a pick-me-up 💄

obiekitty | obiekitty

The commenter is NTA for wanting to put on makeup, even though they are only going to be hanging out with their baby. They believe that looking good can make them feel better and be a pick-me-up for the day.

🤝 Supporting a spouse

No_Proposal7628 | No_Proposal7628

The commenter expressed their appreciation for the writer's way with words, saying they are not the a**hole.

Defending your spouse ❤️

[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA, the commenter's sister is single and not looking for a relationship, yet she still puts on makeup every day. The commenter commends their spouse for standing up to the accuser and not giving into their wild idea.

Exploring creative makeup 💄

Leish-1 | Leish-1

The commenter shares their experience of discovering creative makeup during the pandemic and expresses their enjoyment of makeup as a creative outlet. They ask their husband his opinion of their looks but don't expect it to increase their attractiveness. A reply suggests men don't care about the intricate details of eyeshadow blending."

No one messes with 💪 NTA!

Away-Needleworker-78 | Away-Needleworker-78

The comment declares the poster NTA (not the a**hole) for their response to hurtful remarks during a difficult climate. They also praise the poster's way with words, while pointing out the contradiction of expecting someone to be bad at social behaviors while making a conclusion based on social behaviors. The comment suggests that the poster should also tell their wife about the argument and encourage her to laugh it off if she hears it from someone else.

NTA: Brother's behavior is petty💢

Future-Ambition1859 | Future-Ambition1859

The comment states that the brother's behavior is not well-intentioned and is petty and jealous. It suggests that if the brother had reasonable evidence to believe the cheating, then it would be well-intentioned.

👍🏼 Great husband!

prince_of_cannock | prince_of_cannock

The comment encourages the husband to keep up the good work, saying "NTA You sound like a great husband. Keep it up."

Standing up for your 💖

bad-worm | bad-worm

The commenter is NTA for standing up for his wife's right to do what she wants with her own body, despite his brother's criticism of her wearing magenta eyeshadow with silver glitter. He understands that his brother's insecurity comes from him never learning and his own insecurities in relationships.

🤔 NTA: Don't meddle!

GothPenguin | GothPenguin

The comment suggests that the brother should leave the couple alone as they have already told him the truth and he refused to accept it.

💍 A husband defends his wife 💪

Smashing71 | Smashing71

The commenter states that they would go to bat for their wife if someone were to pick a petty fight with her. They believe the brother-in-law's behavior is a result of being COVID-stir crazy. A reply suggests that the wife may have more time for makeup now that the children are a little older. Everyone agrees that the husband was NTA for defending his wife.

❤️ Show kindness and grace 🤝

minamon012 | minamon012

The comment argues that a husband is a wonderful man for supporting his wife's hobbies, but that his brother did not have bad intentions. The comment suggests that the husband could have gotten his point across without name-calling and advises us to "show more kindness and grace to one another." NTA - but I do think you could have been kinder.

Defending your spouse? 🤔

tryingharder2021 | tryingharder2021

The comment states that NTA (not the a**hole) for defending your spouse, and that instead of having a serious conversation, it would have been better to shut down the situation.

Putting on lipstick for joy 💄

So_very_blessed | So_very_blessed

The comment acknowledges that putting on makeup does not inherently mean that one's wife is cheating, and encourages the reader to enjoy wearing makeup for themselves, regardless of whether anyone else can see it or not.

A light ESH: 🤝 let's talk!

CyberAceKina | CyberAceKina

The comment suggested a light ESH (everyone sucks here) for the situation, where the commenter's concern was misguided and sexist. The reply suggested that both parties should talk it out without yelling and name-calling, as it was a fun hobby for the wife to try new makeup.

💑 NTA: Loving husband defends his marriage 👏

TinyGreenJolley | TinyGreenJolley

The comment author is NTA for defending their marriage against the attempts of their partner's brothers to break it up. The comment author's partner is also an awesome husband who appreciates the effort the author puts into looking good for him. 💗

NTA and 💯 admiration!

RunnerOfUltras | RunnerOfUltras

The comment acknowledges that the spouse is Not The A**hole, and expresses admiration for them.

NTA: Defend your spouse 💪

Everest129 | Everest129

The comment suggests that it is not the a**hole (NTA) to defend one's spouse but to give them a warning beforehand so they are not blindsided by any silly ideas the brother or mother might have.

🔥👏🏼Defending your spouse is 👍🏼

[deleted] | [deleted]

The commenter praises the original poster for standing up for their spouse, saying they wish all men were as awesome. They agree that the original poster is not the a**hole, and that make-up is just clothes for the face and not an indication of anything else.

NTA: 💄+🎁=🤩 New Year goals!

Feeling-better2day | Feeling-better2day

The commenter believes that the wife is not the a**hole (NTA) because she is enjoying her new look and has received a make-up set as a Christmas present. The commenter thinks the brother may be projecting his own relationship issues.

Fighting for your spouse☠️?

ejambu | ejambu

The commenter expresses that the OP reacted too harshly to the brother's comment, but that the brother was also at fault for being misogynistic and aggressive. The replies further argue that the brother is the a**hole in this situation.

Defending your spouse 👊🏼

sharingiscaring219 | sharingiscaring219

The comment suggests that the commenter's brother was YTA for insinuating that his brother's wife must be cheating if she's wearing makeup. The comment applauds the commenter for protecting his wife and understanding the issue with his brother's thinking. It encourages the commenter to talk with his brother at a different point to explain why what he said upset him.

🤝 Supporting your spouse!

kaevas | kaevas

The commenter is NTA (not the a**hole) for standing up for their wife and providing a good and wholesome thread. They commended their 'bro' for being supportive.

NTA 💪 Supporting spouses!

FoodBabyBaby | FoodBabyBaby

The commenter states that they are doing the same thing as the OP's wife and that it's primarily for self-fulfillment. The commenter also states that they would be hurt if their spouse took the same route as the OP's brother is suggesting and that the OP is doing the right thing.

NTA! 💪 Defending your spouse

ArtLangues | ArtLangues

The commenter expresses that they are Not The A**hole (NTA) for standing up for their wife who was accused of wearing makeup for men.

🤷‍♀️ NTA, brother is what you say!

prolixdreams | prolixdreams

The comment suggests that it is not uncommon for women to go through cycles of more or less attention to makeup and fashion depending on their energy level, boredom, and other factors. The comment also says that the brother is what the speaker says he is and is not the a**hole.

Defending your 💑 - NTA 🙌

fatso2fitso | fatso2fitso

The comment is a humorous take that the commenter had to post to reach 1k comments, otherwise, the world would implode, and they state they are Not The A**hole.

Suspicious brother❓

Freakyfishy69 | Freakyfishy69

The comment discussed a brother warning his brother about his spouse due to suspicious behavior. The comment concluded that the brother was suspicious and was looking out for him, but the other brother never took the hint and insulted him instead.

Is it time for a change?

Khai-Bo | Khai-Bo

The comment states that posts have become "dumber and just as dull" over time.

YTA: homophobic insult ⚠️

Conan524 | Conan524

The comment opines that the use of a homophobic insult as the first instinct indicates the commenter's prejudices, and thus, they are in the wrong (YTA).

When defending your spouse ✋

speaker_for_the_dead | speaker_for_the_dead

Everyone sucks here. The comment suggests that the response given was uncalled for, even though the commenter was not the only one to ask.

Protecting your spouse 💪

InsaneVoodooDoll | InsaneVoodooDoll

The comment suggests that the brother of the person being discussed is an "incel".

Defending your spouse 🤗

PO_Dylan | PO_Dylan

NTA, but the commenter suggested mentioning to your spouse that you have noticed her makeup and that you are proud of her. This could turn the situation around and put your a**hole acting brother in his place.

Defending your spouse?👊🏻

missipenix | missipenix

The commenter defends their spouse, saying they are NTA (not the a**hole) for enjoying a creative hobby such as doing makeup or nail art. They advise having a conversation with the brother of the spouse to let him know their thoughts on the situation.

💪 NTA: Women don't do makeup for men's benefit

FreyaR7542 | FreyaR7542

The commenter asserted that women do not do creative makeup for the benefit of men, and received no replies in support or opposition of this statement.

😃 An amazing husband!

Rich_Or_Not | Rich_Or_Not

The commenter thinks the husband is 'NTA' (not the a-hole), saying he sounds like an amazing husband.