The 'Ick' Feeling of Paying For Everything With Your Boyfriend

Ashley Hunte
A table for two overlooking a cityscape.
Unsplash | Matthieu Huang

When it comes to dating and relationships, the "ick" can really put a damper on things. A harmless yet unattractive trait can be all it takes to turn a potential partner into yet another ex.

Last week, a woman on the British forum Mumsnet asked for advice after admitting that her boyfriend of less than a year is beginning to give her the ick. Why? Because he doesn't earn as much money as she does, causing her to foot the bill.

User OreganoOregano Shares Her Story.

The user begins her story.
Mumsnet | OreganoOregano

The user shared how she has been dating her boyfriend for a number of months. Her DP (darling partner) makes a lot less than she does.

The Story Continues, Highlighting OP's Concerns.

The story continues.
mumsnet | OreganoOregano

Because of their differences in finances, OP is beginning to feel the ick.

In Her Story, She Shares How She'd Gone Through A Divorce Not Too Long Ago.

A single red rose on a dinner table.
Unsplash | Zane Persaud

About 6 months before she began dating DP, OP divorced her financially abusive ex-husband. They have a daughter together, whom OP supports on her own.

OP And DP Have Only Been Dating For About 8 Months.

A person counting $100 bills.
Unsplash | Alexander Mils

According to OP, DP recently made a career change which came with a severe pay cut. He only makes £25K (about $31K USD), while she earns at least quadruple that amount in a similar industry.

Because He Makes So Much Less, OP Often Foots The Bill.

A hand holding money that's been lit on fire.
Unsplash | Jp Valery

OP pays for their dates, as well as other things such as trips. DP stays at OP's place often as well. This is an issue for OP, who wants them to be 50:50 in all expenses. She's talked to DP about it, and he had begun to work hard to begin earning more.

But OP Has Noticed That DP's Work Ethic Has Declined.

A couple holding hands outdoors.
Unsplash | Crew

His salary has not increased, and he is not on track to earn as much as OP wishes. Because of OP's past relationship and the time it took for her to recover both emotionally and financially, a partner with a decent salary is important to her. For these reasons, OP is wondering if she should call the relationship off.

Her Post Sparked A Lot Of Debate In The Mumsnet Community.

A user breaks down what OP is feeling.
mumsnet | SamphirethePogoingStickerist

Users understood where OP was coming from, offering their own insights.

Some Believed That OP Needs A Serious Reality Check.

Two users wonder about OP's partner.
mumsnet | Dillydollydingdong, Indnbrdge91

Users suggested that OP stop paying for DP's expenses, which could prompt him to begin working harder.

Many Believed The Relationship Was Doomed.

A user advises OP to break things off.
mumsnet | heartbroken40

Some users felt that OP and her partner's values didn't align, and it was probably best if they cut things off.

Others Felt That There Was Hope.

Users continue to debate what OP should do.
mumsnet | CocoC

Many users felt that the relationship could work so long as DP picked up most of the housework to compensate for his lower salary.

However, Users Argued That It May Not Work Out That Way.

Users argue about household chore distribution.
mumsnet | GrumpyPanda

While their situation could work, commenters worried that OP would be the one earning the most money and doing the most housework.

Some, Meanwhile, Pointed Out That They Haven't Been Together For A Super Long Time.

Others defend the man.
mumsnet | Aprilx

OP and DP have only been together for 8 months, and it makes sense that his salary hasn't increased in that time.

In Fact, Some Believed That OP's Expectations Are Unrealistic.

More users defend the man.
mumsnet | JorisBonson, Changingplace

Users wondered if OP was setting DP up for failure with her expectations.

At The End Of The Day, Though, It's Her Relationship.

A jar that has fallen over, spilling dozens of coins.
Unsplash | Josh Appel

Though many users offered their insight, it's up to OP to decide if she can get over the ick or if she should just end the relationship.

h/t Daily Mail