Celebs Who Proved Just How Out-Of-Touch They Are

Ashley Hunte
The Hollywood sign, as seen from a bit of a distance.
Unsplash | Vincentas Liskauskas

Ah, celebrities. We like to say that they're just like us, but more often than not, they couldn't be further from "normal." They do live vastly different lives from our own, after all.

The celebrities in this list show how their realities are pretty different from our own. In other words, they're probably a lot more out of touch than they even realize.

Martha Stewart told her daughter not to have an ugly man's baby.

In a book written by Alexis Stewart, she states that, once after finding out a neighbor had married a man who was wealthy but unattractive, her mother told her, "Now Alexis, if this ever happens, you make sure you have sex with somebody else to have their baby. Don't have his baby."

When it comes to relationship deal breakers, Uma Thurman has some pretty strange priorities.

According to the actress, "it's better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than someone who doesn't flush the toilet." While both are pretty gross, I almost feel like she has that flipped.

Nicolas Cage once used an ex-manager for "financial ruin."

A zoom-in on Nic Cage, who looks pretty uncomfortable.

In 2009, the actor sued his then-business manager as he was in poorer financial shape than he'd realized. According to Cage, the manager failed to pay taxes and advise him on his financial situation.

It must be nice to never have to worry about your own bank accounts.

Leonard Cohen's ex-manager stole $5 million from him.

An old clip of Leonard Cohen playing guitar.
Giphy | Movistar Plus+

In 2005, Cohen's ex-manager was found guilty of embezzlement to the tune of $5 million from the artist, prompting him to go on tour to recuperate the loss. I feel like the moral of the story is to keep a close eye on your own finances.

David Portonoy actively tried to crush union behavior... on Twitter.

A now-deleted Tweet by David Portnoy, threatening to fire anyone from Barstool Sports who tries to unionize.
twitter | @stoolpresidente

Fun fact: firing anyone who tries to unionize is against the law. So when the Barstool Sports founder threatened to do so over Twitter, it ended in a face-off with the National Labor Relations Board.

According to Randy Quaid, "Star Whackers" are targeting him.

Randy Quaid mouthing "Okay," while making an okay sign.

In 2010, Quaid and his wife, Evi, sought asylum in Canada after becoming convinced that they could be the targets of so-called "whackers," who they claimed targeted David Carradine and Heath Ledger, and may have had their sights set on Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.

Lauryn Hill once showed up 2 hours late to a concert because she was "aligning her energy."

Lauryn Hill shaking her head while sitting on a couch.
Giphy | HipHopDX

In 2016, the singer was set to perform in Atlanta, but kept an eager audience waiting for more than two hours before performing for around 40 minutes.

She did later apologize for the extreme delay.

Lauryn Hill singing "Killing me softly."
Giphy | Fugees

In an apology post to Facebook, she wrote, "The challenge is aligning my energy with the time, taking something that isn’t easily classified or contained, and trying to make it available for others."

Lauren Santo Domingo doesn't wash her own hair.

Note that she gets her hair washed, she just doesn't do it herself, as she admitted in a 2011 interview. Imagine being able to hire someone whose entire job is to wash your hair...

According to Tom Cruise, depression can be cured with "exercise and vitamins."

Tom Cruise shaking his head and asking "What?" in confusion.

As per Cruise's scientology beliefs, which see psychology as a pseudo science, he believes that taking drugs to treat depression is useless.

But don't worry, the rest of us know that depression is a real and serious mental illness, and anyone suffering from depressive thoughts should seek help.

According to Vince Vaughn, the best way to prevent gun violence is... more guns.

Vince Vaugh blowing raspberries.

In defense of the right to bear arms, the actor said, "Banning guns is like banning forks in an attempt to stop making people fat. Taking away guns, drugs, booze... It won’t rid the world of criminality."

Markus Persson clearly doesn't know how rainforests work.

Markus "notch" Persson replying to news of the Amazon on fire, saying that fire is natural and good for the ecosystem.
Tumblr | mekklord

The Minecraft creator, who goes by notch online, failed to realize that the Amazon rainforests are being burned down by humans, and not because of a natural renewal process (which don't even apply to forests in humid climates, to begin with).

Paris Hilton once said, "Everything bad that can happen to a person has happened to me."

While the wealthy heiress has probably dealt with hardships in her life (because seriously, who hasn't?), it's pretty unlikely that she's had to deal with all the problems a normal person would.

A mystery man tricked Sarah Hyland and Keegan-Michael Key into giving him their tickets to an exclusive party.

Well, they weren't the man's only victims, but still. Apparently, he stood in front of an elevator and asked guests of an exclusive Golden Globes party for their tickets. No one knew his identity or what he did with the tickets.

Kourtney Kardashian once told her followers to get oil enemas.

Back in 2011, the star was filmed getting an oil enema during Kourtney & Kim Take New York. She later Tweeted about it. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to take health advice from a Kardashian.

Stephen A Smith once tweeted an image... or not.

To this day, no one really knows what the picture was supposed to be. Not even Smith himself. To be honest, this mystery is somehow both hilarious and entertaining.

Dame Helen Mirren never answers the phone.

It's kind of hard to believe that someone who can get up on set and play a completely different character can be afraid of phone calls. But I have to say, that's probably more relatable than out of touch.

Jerry Seinfeld didn't drink coffee until he was middle aged.

Jerry Seinfeld shivering animatedly.
Giphy | HULU

The comedian admitted to David Letterman in 2014 that he only started drinking coffee a few years prior, stating that he "just didn't have any interest in it."

Alicia Silverstone believes that using tampons will make you infertile.

While she did make a valid point in stating that tampon companies don't list all the ingredients in their products, this still feels like a bit of a reach.

Snooki's at-home facials have a secret ingredient: cat litter.

Snooki shouting "yaaassss!"
Giphy | Jersey Shore Family Vacation

Snooki is a huge proponent in using cat litter for cheap home facials. Which honestly just seems weird. There may also be negative side effects to inhaling the dust from cat litter, so take that as you will.