Weird Things People's Grandmothers Said, Shared By Jimmy Fallon

Sarah Kester
Jimmy Fallon selfie
instagram | Jimmy Fallon

There must be some scientific rule that says that the older you get, the more weird stuff you say.

This would explain some of the answers that were shared after Jimmy Fallon asked people to share weirdest things people's grandmothers have said!

Everything from dirty jokes to savage comebacks were revealed. These ain't no regular grandmothers!

Thinking old

This grandma has got it going on! She knows that the secret to living young is to think that you're young.

This is part of the sage advice that you're only as young as you feel, so clearly this grandma is onto something!

Kiss my...

Grandma and her daughter laughing
Unsplash | Dario Valenzuela

"Mine once asked a five-year-old me to make sure that for her wake they put her in the coffin face down. Me: 'Why?' Her: 'So everybody can come up and kiss my a- -,'" this man tweeted. This is pretty brilliant.

The home cook

We know who wears the pants in this relationship! Clearly, it's the one who cooks all the food. Without her, this man would starve, so let's hope that a) grandma outlives him or b) he learns how to cook!

The catch

Woman laughing really hard

"We were watching a Cirque du Soleil performance on TV and a female contortionist had her legs wrapped around her neck," this woman tweeted. "My 92 year old grandmother to no one in particular: 'I'll bet she has no trouble getting a man.'" She's not wrong!

The virginity

Yikes! TMI, Granny! At least wait for the stuffing to be passed around before sharing details about your former sex life.

Let's hope she stopped it there instead of sharing into her current sex life at the assisted living home...

Thank God for beer

Betty White on Hot in Cleaveland
Imgflip | NBC

"My friend’s nana would always start grace by saying, 'Food is here, I’ve got my beer, thank God,'" Jimmy Fallon himself tweeted. This nana knew what was most important in life! Clearly, it's always food and beer.

The haunting

Forget a tough dad with big muscles and an even bigger bat. We want this Granny to set the boys straight and make sure that we're always looked after by a kind gentleman. Being haunted is no joke.

The Hot Toddy

Old woman laughing
Unsplash | Janaya Dasiuk

"When sick with the flu some years ago, I asked my Grandma how to make a hot toddy," this woman tweeted. "Her response: 'you know, I can’t recall. I never made it beyond the whiskey!'She passed away in June 2020 at age 90. I miss her humor everyday!"

The middle finger

Granny is a staight-up savage! After she saw that her son wasn't going to do anything to the rude trucker, she took matters into her own hands s⁠— literally. This is brilliant actually, since what is a man going to do to a grandma?

The fries

Unsplash | Joyce Panda

"Bringing my grandma dinner. G:wow I get fries too! Me: yup I got you fries too," this woman tweeted. "G: what did I do to deserve you? Me: awe! I love you to grandma! G: I was talking to the fries."

The savage gift

This poor girl! It should've been Granny writing the jokes or a book on savage lines. She's clearly got it down pat. This girl will forever have to live with the fact that she's not classified as pretty enough.

The truthteller

Grandma saying "meow"
Giphy | America's Funniest Home Videos

"Once my brother's ex-girlfriend texted all through dinner," this woman tweeted. "When Grandma was ready to leave she said to her, "Next time I'll bring my phone so we can talk." Yikes! No wonder she's now the ex-girlfriend...

Go back to bed!

Getting naked to get some frisky time... the oldest trick in the book! Unfortunately, this grandpa who wasn't in the right frame of mind, forgot that this has never worked throughout their many years of marriage. Sorry, horny Grandpa.


Grandma wearing hat
Unsplash | RepentAnd SeekChristJesus

"Scene: 10 year old girl at a crowded restaurant with her family," this woman tweeted. "Me: 'I’m going to the restroom.' Nana (yelling to me like we were at the staples Center): 'Remember, don’t sit on the seat, hover like a helicopter. Hover!'"

Life's too short not to eat butter

This Grandma was darn right. Life is too short not to eat butter. How else do you think she got to live up until the age of 99? She didn't spend precious time worrying about calories. She lived!

The celebrity crush

Queen Elizabeth laughing

"My 90 year old grandma called me to ask if I could come over to help her fix her computer," this woman tweeted. "I told her I would and she asked, 'how soon because sometimes I see an actor on TV like Hugh Jackman and I want to look him up and see if he's married.'"

The lipstick

This is a lot like the grandmas' who tell you to always wear your best underwear in the event that you're in a car crash. Even if times of trouble, some grandmas want to ensure that they look their best.

The watered down ice

Drink with orange
Unsplash | Jamie Street

"At a restaurant, my grandma would order water with no ice bc she didn't want her drink to get watered down," this man tweeted. Weird or not, this is something we should be able to do at bars with alcoholic drinks!

The texting mishap

Grandma blowing candles
Giphy | America's Funniest Home Videos

"My grandma texted me, 'LOL' after my cousin got hurt. She thought lol meant 'lots of love," this man tweeted. Bless her heart! Texting gets tricky when you're older and out of the loop on current lingo.