People Share The Times They Misheard A Word And The Hilarity That Ensued

Daniel Mitchell-Benoit
A hand fanning out a deck of cards.
Unsplash | Klim Musalimov

It happens to the best of us: our ears fail us for just long enough that we don't quite catch what someone says. We don't want to make them repeat themselves, so we just pretend we heard what they said and hope for the best, often to very mixed results.

This list, sparked by a tweet that shared a story of this nature, features plenty of tales just like this. Maybe seeing someone else's hearing mishap will make you feel better about yours.

Full schedule.

A row of houseplants.
Unsplash | vadim kaipov

"A hot guy at my job asked me if I had any plans and I told him 15 because I thought he said plants."

The Tweet that started it all, a simple misunderstanding that probably left that guy wondering what sort of busy socialite life you lead!

No sides, please.

A smalls hopping basket full of potatos.
Unsplash | Andrey Metelev

"Waitress brought my order and asked if I wanted a potato. Odd, but I cheerfully said 'no thank you.' She looks at me oddly. My aunt (my dinner companion) says, why did you say that? I say I don’t want a potato. She says, 'she said Buon Appetito'."

A hopeless romantic.

The Roman coliseum.
Unsplash | Jessi Pena

"I once replied to a very attractive girl, who said she loved romance, that I was more of an Elizabethan era guy because I thought she said Romans."

Was the Elizabethan era known for its romantics? Here's hoping his preferred period is to his new lady's liking.

The more fun option.

A party.
Unsplash | Samantha Gades

"On a beach outside Boston, a group asked me if I wanted to pottie. I said I didn’t have to. Took a little back and forth before I realized they meant party."

Not sure which side is weirder, strangers asking if you need to use the bathroom, or someone telling you they don't have to party.

A little under the weather.

A girl on a video call.
Unsplash | LinkedIn Sales Solutions

"One day I'm having this video call with this lady for the first time and she tells me 'you look like your dad,' and I'm like 'oooooh noo' because I heard 'you look like you're dead'."

Imagine if she had actually said that! What a horrible first impression that would have been.

We can only hope.

Sun in the sky.
Unsplash | Lukáš Vaňátko

"I had an old guy say, 'Gonna be 81 tomorrow'. I said, 'Hope so', thinking he was talking about the weather. He wasn’t…the next day was his birthday."

To the wrong person, that could sound like a threat. A weird one, sure, but a threat.

Oh well.

Some people peering down a well.
Unsplash | Maxime Bouffard

"When moving to TN, realtor kept referring to a 'whale' in the backyard. We weren’t near an ocean so I asked her to explain this 'whale' she spoke of. Her: 'A large container underground that holds water.' Me: 'Oh, a well.' Oops."

Funny business.

A taxi light.
Unsplash | Waldemar Brandt

"Baltimore cabbie years ago told my buddy and me that shrapnel left from Vietnam was bothering him, and asked if we'd been in the service. 'No, we're Canadians.' And he says 'That must be hard, getting up in front of people like that and making them laugh!'

Took us awhile..."

Name insecurities.

A conversation at a table.
Unsplash | Dennis Brendel

"I asked a hot guy in college his last name. He said it’s Gross. I said that’s ok you can tell me anyway."

This would be a great one to just play off, as it's a pretty funny joke on its own. Stay cool!

Aggressive celebrations.

Happy Birthday spelled out with colorful letter balloons.
Unsplash | Jane Graystone

"I remember showing my ID on my birthday to a cashier. She ran the sale through, and mumbled something. Assumed it was a congrats. Said 'Thanks yeah, it is my birthday!' response sternly was 'NO! I said do you want a receipt?' than she paused and said 'BIRTHDAY BOY!?'"

No magic involved.

A hand fanning out a deck of cards.
Unsplash | Klim Musalimov

"I met someone in a club and when I asked him what he did I thought he said ‘magician’, so asked him to show me tricks. He looked surprised, but did. It wasn’t until much later I found out he’d said musician."

Let's be real, him being a magician would have been way cooler.

A new method.

A small collection of pills.
Unsplash | Leohoho

"I called my dog's vet because the expensive flea drop medication wasn't working. I was irritated and the girl asked me if I'd ever tried a peel? I didn't know what a peel was until I realized she had a very thick country/Southern accent. It was a pill."

No thanks, not busy enough.

A kid doing his homework.
Unsplash | Annie Spratt

"In 6th grade a boy asked if I wanted to 'go steady' and I didn’t know what that meant. I thought he asked me to 'go study' and I responded 'no, I don’t have any homework'. I still remember the very confused look on his face as he walked away."

A new leaf.

A man in work boots.
Unsplash | Antoine Pouligny

"Friend at work said to me 'You know John on the factory floor? He’s vegan'. I said 'What are his safety boots made of then?' and he looked confused and said 'You what?' I explained what I meant, and he replied 'I said he’s LEAVING!'

Got hearing aids about a month later."

Birthday wishes.

A guy talking to two girls.
Unsplash | Eliott Reyna

"One of my friends in college was a bit shy, and this girl he had a crush on comes by to say happy birthday. He responded with 'same to you!'."

Well, now she'll be sure to have a happy birthday! When her birthday rolls around, that is.

No, the thing I asked for.

A card on a laptop.
Unsplash | CardMapr

"[The] pharmacy asked for my Costco card yesterday but I heard postal code so I was like 'yeah it’s X1Y 2Z3' and she was like uhhhhhhhh great, now the card?"

I've done this exact thing, but mixed up my phone number and my postal code, it's humiliating!

Closer than I thought.

A bed.
Unsplash | Quin Stevenson

"3 pm I made an appt for car work and when the young man said good bye, I said ok sweetie, good night. [...] I’m so frickin old!!!"

Don't worry, that's not a symptom of being old, young people do it the opposite way all the time. Ever heard of a student calling their teacher 'Mom' before?

An ordinary day.

A man reaching for a card from his wallet.
Unsplash | Georgi Dyulgerov

"Once while I was buying liquor, I handed my ID to the cashier and she asked, 'Birthday?', so as to cross-check the date on the ID. I thought she was asking what the occasion was, and replied, 'Nope, just a Tuesday'."


Sweedish city street.
Unsplash | Ayadi Ghaith

"On a first date I spelled the guy's last name correctly, which was a kind of difficult one. He was impressed and said, 'Are you Swedish?' and I answered, 'Why, are they good spellers?'"

A moment of brilliance came swiftly crashing down.

Keep 'em guessin'!

A snake.
Unsplash | Timothy Dykes

"During an army interview, they asked me what would I do if I found a snack in middle of a jungle. I said I’ll pick it up and probably eat it. They were shocked, they actually meant ‘snake’."

Saying that you'd just eat a snake is a pretty hardcore answer, unlike eating the random snack, which clearly would have been a trap!