15 Things People Learned Embarrassingly Late In Life

Jordan Claes
palm face girl
Unsplash | tabitha turner

Sometimes life can feel a lot like looking at one of those optical illusions that your teacher used to show you back in grade school: what is readily apparent and obvious to some remains hidden and unknown to others.

In a similar vein, not everyone comes to the same conclusions and revelations when it comes to life's more obvious and grand mysteries. Get a better idea of what I'm talking about and check out these 15 things that people learned embarrassingly late in life.

That's a real dilly of a pickle.

Unsplash | Jonathan Pielmayer

"I went to dinner with my ex and her college friends. One of them argued that a pickle wasn't a cucumber. She called and asked her mother, and we just heard her mother scream she wasn't sending her kid to 40k/yr school to find out a pickle was a cucumber." - Reddit u/NHDraven

Peanut butter and mayonnaise aren't the same things.

peanut butter
Unsplash | Towfiqu barbhuiya

When Reddit user Carbonatite was a kid, their mother always used to store peanut butter in the fridge. Because of this, they'd always presumed that peanut butter needed to be refrigerated, otherwise, it would go bad — like mayonnaise.

Innocence and ignorance often walk hand-in-hand.

Rob Lowe grabbing stomach
Giphy | Parks and Recreation

When Redditor shahrukh_khan_SRK was only 10-years-old, they thought that "orgasm" was a more polite word for "fart." They once told their mother that they had so many orgasms that it hurt their stomach.

Kudos to you on your family's dedication to reducing food waste.

pouring milk
Unsplash | Eiliv-Sonas Aceron

"Until I[sic] was 19 and away at college I[sic] did not know that milk curdles or bread molded[sic]. I grew up in a family of 8 and we went through that stuff so fast." - Reddit u/Trugem6

They do sound like they should be bigger.

Unsplash | Hubert Neufeld

Up until very recently, Redditor rachaelonreddit presumed that Emperor Penguins were at least six-feet tall. All I can say is thank god that they're not because the idea of a giant six-foot-tall penguin absolutely terrifies me.

You're not alone.

hey arnold
Giphy | Hey Arnold

Redditor iremovebrains used to think that the term primadonna meant "pre-Madonna." I used to be a big fan of a band called Treble Charger growing up, and thanks to their song "American Pyscho" — I used to think the exact same thing.

"It took me 10 years and $20,000 to figure out how credit cards were supposed to be used." - Reddit u/bangersnmash13

Amex card
Unsplash | CardMapr

All I can say is that you're not alone, my friend. I spent five years working for one of the big banks, and let me tell you, they're banking on the fact that you (and the population at large) neither comprehends nor understand how to use a credit card properly.

Nuts to that!

Unsplash | Avinash Kumar

Redditor livid54 used to think that whenever someone referred to a piece of furniture as "walnut", that it was literally made from the dust of crushed-up walnuts. I've got to admit, that does sound mighty tasty.

Great joke, dad.

Mr. D dad joke
Giphy | CBC

When Reddit user demolitiondubz was a little kid, their father used to tell them that the word "gullible" wasn't actually in the dictionary. It took them close to 18 years before they finally woke up and got the joke.

I feel like I have egg all over my face...

Olympic rings
Unsplash | Bryan Turner

"I didn't realize until a few years ago that they are called the "Paralympics" because they run parallel to the Olympics. I guess that in the back of my mind I always figured it had to do with "paralysis" or "paraplegic." - Reddit u/LexLuthorJr

"At seven years old, I realized that the moon is not the back of the sun." - Reddit u/Sparky62075

moon phases
Unsplash | Mark Tegethoff

In fairness to you, I didn't realize that the moon only reflected the light from the sun until I was well into my teens. Which if I'm being honest, left me feeling all kinds of disappointed. I liked thinking that the moon was the world's night light.

You can pickle pretty much anything.

Darrell Philbin 'The Office'
Giphy | The Office

What the majority of us refer to as pickles are actually called gherkins. A gherkin is nothing more than a pickled cucumber, and you can pickle pretty much anything — including eggs as well as onions.

How now, brown cow?

brown cow
Unsplash | chris robert

When Reddit user Ok_Watch406 was 9-years-old, they used to love drinking chocolate milk. Not fully understanding how the milk was turned into delicious-tasting chocolate, they naturally presumed that it came from only brown cows.

That's not how you pronounce it.

Big Pappi
Giphy | ADWEEK

Reddit user Raven4869 admits that she didn't learn that the word "idea" didn't have an "R" at the end until she was 14-years-old. In fairness to her, she did grow up in the very heart of Boston — so that explains a lot.

My entire childhood was a lie.

froot loops
Unsplash | Sascha Bosshard

"Fruit Loops are all the same flavor. I was 27, and I still remember the shock of finding out Toucan Sam had been lying to me my whole life." - Reddit u/sfw8580

h/t: Reddit