Unsplash | Krzysztof Kowalik

People Share The One Thing That They Could Never Forgive

Patrick 1 Nov 2019

Being betrayed by someone, whether they be close to you or not, is a uniquely painful experience. It can lead to issues of trust, depression, and anger. However, more often than not, we can find a way to forgive the person who has wronged us and move forward with our lives for the better.

Sometimes, however, there are things which we cannot forgive. These are often extreme cases, and one person sought to find out what sort of things people truly could never forgive when they asked Reddit the question, "What would you say is the one thing you can't forgive a person for?"

Here are some of the most heart-wrenching, shocking, and unbelievable things that people simply couldn't forgive.

1. "Cheated On Me With My Mum"

Unsplash | Sweet Ice Cream Photography

"The father of my child cheated on me with my mum. They are now living together as a couple. I can never forgive them." — deegeecoo

I can't imagine how you'd be able to look at either of them the same again after something like this. Apparently, the person who wrote this has custody over her son, and the mother and ex are still together.

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2. Drunk Driving

Instagram | @freshtacos_memes69

"Well if you know me then it's not surprising. I can't forgive drunk driving. I moved to the United States around 5 years ago from Ireland. 2 years after I did I was in the car with my family when we were hit by a drunk driver. In the crash, everyone in my family thankfully wasn't hurt except me. Do to shrapnel as well as inhalation of toxic fumes, I now and covered in scars and can no longer speak at all other than small squeaks." — SarahSparksPrime

The fact that some people still drink and drive is infuriating. There are so many people who have suffered horrendous injuries and are missing family members as a result of one person's ignorance and foolishness. Don't drink and drive people, it ruins lives.

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3. Infidelity During Illness

Instagram | @yana.avan_killer.b.yuc

"My father cheated on my mom when she had stage 4 cancer. I was 23 at the time and ended up giving up my apartment and moving back home to take care of her. [...] One night I heard them arguing and he said 'well I can't get it from you so I'll have to get it somewhere else.' He ended up spending most of his time at the house of some woman he met from the neighborhood.

"My brothers, who never so much as visited our mom during the time she was sick, tell me I'm overreacting and I should just get over it." — DeusEx-Machinist

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4. Abuse

Instagram | @jiujiteiro_ck_muay_thai

"Purposefully harming a child or animal" — frozensoda

I don't understand how people can actually hurt children or animals — aside from wasps, those guys suck!

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5. Forgetting They Had Cancer

Instagram | @moonddoll

"My mom 'forgetting' I had cancer and never once called me for 9 months during my treatment. She was never around anyway and would forget my birthday so I guess I should have expected it. Haven't talked to her in about a year. I don’t need that toxicity in my life." — shrewberryblew

There's no need to accommodate people in your life who are just there to bring you down and hurt you. Taking care of yourself is too important to be impacted by people like this.

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6. Claiming Sexual Assault Never Really Happened

Facebook | Cinzia Myatt‎

"When I was raped my best friend didn't want to believe me. Said it wasn't 'her place to take sides.' I tried so hard to keep the relationship functioning, but that trauma defined me for years, and she only ever acknowledged it with 'if that did happen.' On her 21st birthday, she invited him to the party and didn't tell me until I was already there. I left immediately and never replied to a text or call from her again. It's been years." — chngminxo

This is one of the most heartbreaking on the list. If you've suffered abuse like this and someone is acting in a manner such as this, refusing to appropriately acknowledge what you've been through, then they are not your friend.

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7. Deceased Spouse's Family

Instagram | @paradox__music

"My wife's family taking my distress at losing my wife at 39 as weakness and trying to take advantage to get whatever they could. Nope can’t forget that one." — M1r9f7i9sh

It's always terrible when families let settling someone's estate tear them apart.

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8. Saying Things You Can't Take Back

Unsplash | Priscilla Du Preez

"I had a hysterectomy at the ripe age of 32, and never had a chance to have children with my husband. My sister is an alcoholic and she gets very mean when she's drunk. She was upset with me one evening and she was leaving me message after message because I wouldn't pick up.

"I listen to one, I probably shouldn't have. She said, 'You will never know what it's like to have children, you wouldn't have been a good mom.' Pretty much saying I deserve it. She's 48 and knows better. But I don't think I can forgive her, she goes too far. But she's in rehab now for her tenth time." — JaLG8

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9. Changing The Locks

Unsplash | CMDR Shane

"My father calling the police on me after his girlfriend moved in and he changed the locks while all my stuff was in the house still." — Chirs_Massey

The person who wrote this went on to say that this happened when they were 18 just after they had graduated high school.

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10. Shaming Others

Instagram | @pcos_ever_after

"Shaming someone trying to better themselves. Whether it might be an overweight person in the gym or someone working a minimum wage job. You have no idea what they are going through and yet you chose to make fun out of them." — IndySGZ

You never know what is going on in someone else's life. The person that you're judging could be struggling with any number of troubles, which is important to remember before taking shots at someone.

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11. Evil Stepmother

Giphy

"My stepmom cheating on my dad. He's such a good guy and has done so much for her, including adopting her son from a previous marriage, and she f***ing destroyed him." —cnvoaeas

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12. Repeat Offender

Unsplash | Aliyah Jamous

"Not simply doing something bad once, but doing it on purpose, enjoying it, and continuing to do it.

"A person can't be forgiven until they've stopped for good or honestly fight the urge to do it again." — KLWiz1987

The best thing that someone can do to apologize, is to change their behavior that caused the incident in the first place.

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13. Cover Up

Giphy

"If they lie extensively and try to cover it up, break your heart, and then lie to you again, but you have no way to prove it. You end things but always wonder if you've made a mistake." —ferdaboiz_

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14. Manipulation

Instagram | @campinglaravoire_annecy

"My mother hid my father's side of my family from me. Saying they wanted nothing to do with me and lied and said she's never spoken to them. I met them earlier this year and it was all a lie." — EarlyBirdTheNightOwl

Hopefully, this person is now enjoying a positive relationship with people who aren't manipulating their perception of reality.

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15. Not Going To A Funeral

Instagram | @sue_foll_photo

"Not one of my friends came to my dads funeral. He was the nice guy who always gave my friends rides and helped with sports & school. But when we needed their support, they had better things to do." — moosecatoe

While it is important to go to funerals to pay respects to those who have died, it is also important to go and support our loved ones who are living with the loss.

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16. Taking Advantage Of Illness

Giphy

"My ex at the moment since finding out I had cancer has been harassing me and taking me to courts near enough every month and also has been telling people that I've only a few weeks left to live etc (I'm not terminal), and for that, I can never forgive him. Who does that to someone trying to recover and stay stressless." —amylk346

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17. Abandoning During Labor

Instagram | @thecurlyfour

"My EX-husband for being in the hospital parking lot, on the phone with his girlfriend while I was in labor giving birth to our stillborn baby. It was agonizing enough knowing that you're giving birth to a stillborn baby, but wondering where your partner is and having to go through it alone was absolute hell. I cannot forgive him for that." — BlueDevilBina

This is not something that anyone should have to go through, let alone go through alone for such disgusting reasons.

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18. Emotional Abuse

Instagram | @_the_solo_queen_

"Terrorizing me emotionally by strongly implying that you are going to commit suicide, because something that I did was an inconvenience to you, then purposely avoiding my calls and messages when I desperately try to contact you, then acting as though you never intended to worry me, but do it all again in a few months anyway." — Reddi_steddi

When you're engaged in a relationship with someone employing this sort of mental abuse, it can be impossible to see that they are the wrong party until you have broken out of the cycle. From the outside, it can seem a simple case of, "Just don't talk to them," but these cases are never that simple when you're in the midst of them.

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19. Protecting A Pedophile

Unsplash | Gaelle Marcel

"My Jehovah's Witness parents and family shunning and cutting me off when I reported a JW elder pedophile and got the child safely away from him. They continue to protect the molester because the organization told them to." — toadknocker

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20. A Beautiful Lesson

Unsplash | Alberto Casetta

"Child abuse. Emotional or Physical. It always amazes me to see people who have suffered so much abuse as a child decide to live a life very different than their parents. They make the crucial decision to end the cycle of abuse by learning more effective strategies of parenting rather than imitating their parents by taking out their anger on their children.

"I have the utmost respect for those individuals that decide to overcome their tragic childhood by being exceptional parents. By taking responsibility and learning to be a better parent, you end the cycle of abuse and save generations of heartache." —shelovesthestars

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21. Trying To Steal A Boyfriend

Giphy | CBC

"My first relationship was ended by a mutual friend who talked behind my back. She managed to convince my boyfriend that I was an asshole for studying instead of partying with him. I wanted to give us financial stability so he could pursue his art career.

"After we broke up, she tried to form a relationship with him, and failed miserably. I still talk to my ex, and we got our friendship back. What she destroyed, though, will never be the same.

"From as long as I can remember, she's the one person that I never managed to forgive." —Heile_Arondight

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22. Murder

Reddit | justiceforosaura

"Killing my daughter." —justiceforosaura

This Redditor has started a non-profit in honor of her daughter to help people who are victims of domestic violence. Rosaura was murdered by her ex-boyfriend in 2018, after she broke up with him over his abuse of her dog.

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23. Personal Gain

Unsplash | Sandrachile .

"Using a person’s kindness for their own gain." —squidsandbread

I've known people like this. Hopefully, you catch on to the fact they never reciprocate the kindness before it goes too far.

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24. Raping A Sibling

Unsplash | Annie Spratt

"It's been 15 years since the incident and I don't think I'll ever forgive, my once best friend, for having sex with my autistic sister.

"Edit: For clarification my sister was born without oxygen, and received major brain damage due to it. She's 18 months older than me, but still stuck at the age of 2 mentally. She can't talk actual words outside of mama and Bubba." —P_B_n_Jealous

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25. True Colors

Unsplash | Sharon McCutcheon

"My mom financially and emotionally cut off me and my sister when we were in our first and third years of college, respectively, to chase a relationship and business endeavor with a woman she had just started a relationship with.

"She spent close to a million dollars that would have been left to me and my siblings, while systematically cutting out everyone who questioned her decisions. Ultimately she lost everything, and now crashes on my sister's couch between evictions. She's never really assumed responsibility, so we can't forgive her.

"To be clear, it's not the money I can't forgive her for. It's the fact that I saw her in a place where she thought she didn't need us and could afford to kick us to the curb to benefit herself personally, so she did so. How a person acts when they feel like they have everything can be just as revealing as how they act when their back is up against the wall." —mrSFWdotcom

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26. Vulnerability Betrayal

Unsplash | Sharon McCutcheon

"Having the courage to be vulnerable and then having it thrown in your face." —egalex

It can be so hard to admit to someone else that you need help, and to have it rejected or made fun of is awful.

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27. Choice Of Marriage Partner

Instagram | @annabelleagnew

"Marrying a family members rapist. Knowingly." — CalmingGoatLupe

You're better off away from that kind of messed-up toxicity.

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28. Humiliation

Unsplash | Dmitry Ratushny

"Humiliating me horrifically over the course of multiple years that led me to develop crippling mental health and acting like just because you were a teenager it means nothing..." —[deleted]

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29. Toxic In-Laws

Unsplash | Anthony Tran

"I can’t forgive my now alienated spouses family for all literally lining up to kick me when I was down.

"They never liked me, my husband at a low point had an affair and every member of his immediate family took that to mean it was now open season on me and each unleashed every verbal disgusting assault they could, all within weeks of my life having crumbled around me as I knew it.

"My husband worked his ass off in the YEARS after to earn back my trust and respect, he was an incredibly damaged human from his upbringing in such a family. Therapy and more therapy. I lived years in agony out of love and respect for him, trying to make it through the mire that my life had become, but I cannot bring myself to try to reconcile with people who literally saw me grasping for reasons to still live and decided to grind their heels into my fingers. They killed any chance of being in my life and the lives of my children for good." —Onceaweekly

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30. Victim Blaming

Giphy | Wolf Entertainment

"I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive my older brothers for telling me I was stupid for being raped.

"The texts kept coming through. “What were you wearing? He probably assumed you wanted it.” and “I don’t know why you wouldn’t go to the police, how do I know you aren’t lying about it happening in the first place?”

"The older one’s wife texted me a few days later telling me how disappointed she was that I didn’t tell her I was raped. “I thought we were sisters... guess not... :(“ —emo_boobs

The brothers are awful, but that sister-in-law is the worst.

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31. No More Chances

Unsplash | Terry Vlisidis

"Breaking the trust you had in them even when you gave them a second chance." —LittleMuppet

Or the third, fourth, and fifth chances.

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32. Ghosting

Instagram | @neutronstar07

"Other than the obvious (committing a violent or sexual offence) close friends or family suddenly ghosting me.

"It's cruel to leave someone twisting in the wind. Sack up and tell me that you don't want to be a part of my life (for whatever reason) and then move on." — foghornclj

Leaving someone hanging for an extended period of time can be a terribly cruel thing to do to someone, especially if they were someone close.

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33. Taking Someone's Child

Unsplash | Krzysztof Kowalik

"My mother orchestrating the adoption of my child to my aunt. Haven’t seen my son in eight years.

"Before anyone asks, she ran a campaign of lies against me to all the family and threatened to have me bodily harmed should I defy her. I was baker-acted with her signature and she kidnapped my son to take him to his new parents. Needless to say, I moved continents and am now working on building my self-confidence and independence." — uliol

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34. Maliciousness

Instagram | @mchurch56

"Hurting anyone that can’t defend themselves, it’s an extremely cowardly act." — Pr3ttynp3tty

I think this is one that anyone would struggle to forgive, it is just malicious for maliciousness' sake.

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35. It Seemed Like A Big Deal At The Time

Reddit | atrushhourthecars

"Asked me to bring my foil Charizard Pokemon card to school to show it to him and I know he stole it outta my backpack later that day while we were at Recess. I'll take this 2nd grade grudge to the god damn grave.

Downright despicable and wholly unforgivable." - darthcooter

It's nice to have a little break from the seriously disturbing stories we've heard so far, but it's also easy to underestimate how seriously we took this stuff back then.

While I forgave one friend who stole some of my Pokémon cards, I also checked over my rare ones every time any of them left my house after that.

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36. A Relentless Bully At The Worst Time They Could Arrive

Reddit | mr_plopsy

"Humiliating me horrifically over the course of multiple years that led me to develop crippling mental health and acting like just because you were a teenager it means nothing..." - [deleted]

When someone makes several years of your life miserable, it's only natural to want them as far away from you as possible no matter which stage of your life those years happen to fall under.

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37. Homelessness Caused By Neglect

Reddit | lunalionheart

"My sister gave us three days notice that we were being evicted, and that's only because my dad confronted her with the eviction notice he found. Had he not snooped, we would have been completely caught by surprised. It's annoying because we found out that night that my grandmother and aunt, had been sending my sister money the entire time we lived with them to help us get back on our feet.

"We could have used that money for gas, which we had to beg her for. We could have used that money for my parents to get to job interviews that they had, but couldn't get to because of no gas, or car troubles.

"I used to be a different person, and being homeless fundamentally changed me as a person. It absolutely destroyed my social skills, and my self esteem." - Indysteeler

It's hard to see this as anything but the most short-sighted selfishness and when that selfishness leads one down one of the most terrifying roads in life they can imagine, forgiveness isn't always possible.

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38. An Unfathomably Terrible Experience

Reddit | youshinebrighter

"It was this time two years ago that the man I thought I'd live happily ever after with, raped me. Then he forced me to have an abortion after I found out I was pregnant. He blackmailed me and used my younger sisters to convince me that an abortion was the only way to save their honour and mine (I'm south Asian). A week after I lost my baby, he messaged my friend and asked for her hand in marriage. I was done.

"He later contacted me around 8 months later and blackmailed me into marrying him, using the same reason. I was adamant not to let it happen but out of fear that he'd tell everyone I was shameless and a dirty person, I agreed. The six months I was with him, were hell." -ohsnayup

If there's any light that came from this dark story, it's that this woman discovered that the attitudes this man convinced her to fear never came when she revealed what happened to her mother.

She continues to fight for justice against him and strives to ensure he doesn't hurt anyone else like he's severely hurt her.

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39. The Worst Thing She Could Have Said

Reddit | cortextulisation

"A few years ago one of my ex's cousins died in a car crash. It took an extreme emotional toll on my ex and her entire family. My ex and her mother wound up on an extremely emotional late-night phone call. For context they are Chinese, so I didn't understand any of the details of the conversation.

"As I'm lying in bed they finally hang up their phones, and for whatever reason my spidey-sense goes off. I get up to go check on my ex in the living room to find her holding a knife and moving it toward her wrist. I had to wrestle the knife from her and put her in a hold while she thrashed and cried uncontrollably.

"Turns out her mother ended their conversation telling her that she wished she had aborted her." - spartanaean

Both women have since gone into therapy and eventually forged a stronger relationship than either would have imagined was possible. While spartanaean is proud of both of them for that, they understandably still can't forgive what the mother said to her.

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