Sometimes I wonder if we're living in a giant simulation that's forever trying to punk us, prank us, make jokes at our expense and, eventually, kill us. Like we're some elaborate version of The Sims, but our artificial intelligence has a conscience and believes it's alive.
That was a bit of a tangent. Don't do drugs, kids. Mmmk.
But for real, I feel as though I spend too much time trying to avoid being the butt-end to an internet joke. If I ever have 15 seconds of fame, I don't want it to be eternalized as a GIF, or worse, a meme. In saying that, I am slightly amused and wholly amazed by the lengths to which people and animals will go to outsmart others. And worse than that, the lengths animals will go to to outsmart humans. Are they evolving, or are we devolving? Actually, I don't want to know the answer to that. I find it preferable to just wake up one day and realize I went from being a sentient human being to a chimp that molests frogs.
That seems like a good place to end this introduction.
1. Overpriced bottled water is like financial kryptonite for white people.
2. God DAMN those crafty Chinese toys.
3. No human will decide when a king eats his snacks.
4. They're getting too smart for their own good. Quick! Label it ADHD and medicate the funny out of him!