If life were even a little bit fair, my pet dragon would be writing this while I relax on a beach somewhere. If it were really fair, your pet dragon would be reading it to you on that same beach.

So it's pretty safe to say (unless you're a dragon and reading this) that life isn't fair. Hey, at least we don't have it as bad as some of the other dragon-less unfortunates below, right?

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1. I really admire that this kid can sleep through a constant barrage of sunflower seeds.

1. I really admire that this kid can sleep through a constant barrage of sunflower seeds.
Twitter |  @MiaSimper101

I guess she might not have lucked out parent-wise, but at least she'll be able to catch a nap to escape them.

2. This dog's timing is beyond impressive.

2. This dog's timing is beyond impressive.
Twitter |  @lykke_li

I mean, she didn't get the selfie that she wanted, but didn't she end up with a much better one? God, I love dogs.

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3. If you can't take a selfie in a mostly empty stadium, is there anywhere that's safe?

Years from now, she'll look back on this pic as the last time she was ever comfortable in public without a catcher's helmet on.

4. This Pit Bull fan(?).

4. This Pit Bull fan(?).
Instagram |  @no_chillbruh

Next time, maybe he'll leave the window open a crack so someone can get rid of their Pit Bull tickets without having to smash his window.

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5. I'm not saying that anyone should be this mad about a piece of chicken, but I can understand it.

5. I'm not saying that anyone should be this mad about a piece of chicken, but I can understand it.
Instagram |  @momm_ty

Watch, his biscuit is like one giant air bubble and the gravy is nothing but his tears.


6. Does this get better or worse if this person chose the numbers?

6. Does this get better or worse if this person chose the numbers?
Reddit |  burn23notice

I think if they were random, it's just a slightly bigger middle finger from the universe. I suppose it's lucky it only cost him a dollar.

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7. A mental ripoff that so many of us can relate to — the anxiety treadmill.

7. A mental ripoff that so many of us can relate to — the anxiety treadmill.
Instagram |  @god

If humans came with warranties, like, 99% of us would be in line to trade in our brains.

8. Well, here we are again — stuck outside time.

As long as we've escaped the time stream, can we get Szechuan sauce or a McRib? How about that amazing pizza you can't get anymore?!

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9. I'm already terrified of roller coasters, so this is basically just evidence that I should never ride one again.

9. I'm already terrified of roller coasters, so this is basically just evidence that I should never ride one again.
Reddit |  mrwhiskers123

If my luck holds up, this will happen to me on the subway ride home.

10. I'd like to see how much this cost on the receipt.

If you thought your McDouble is only going to cost 25 cents, it probably wasn't going to be legit anyway.

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11. This is just cruel.

11. This is just cruel.
Reddit |  OldPeopleHateMe

I can barely do fractions at all, or any kind of math for that matter, so the chance of my answer being correct would've been like hitting the lottery (sorry, #6).

12. It must've been so confusing when the box arrived. 

12. It must've been so confusing when the box arrived.
Twitter |  @itssavannahxox

We've all had the "what did I order off Amazon?" moments, but it's not usually when you find out you accidentally ordered Smurf-sized furniture.

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13. Mystery solved.

13. Mystery solved.
Twitter |  @lilveggiez

Current Theory: Both of these tiny purchases were meant for an actual Smurf, and they just got mixed up when Amazon sent them off to the wrong customers. That, or the universe hates us all.

14. These things look like someone padded her nails with candy.

14. These things look like someone padded her nails with candy.
Twitter |  @GloUpElite

But if they taste as bad as they look, maybe it's for the best if no one tastes them to find out.

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15. This is really a shame. It was always going to be a bad day when a porcupine falls on your head, but...

15. This is really a shame. It was always going to be a bad day when a porcupine falls on your head, but...
Reddit |  Yachtnaught

...if it had stayed there a little longer, she would've wound up with an anime-level hairstyle for a little while. Silver linings, people.

16. There's been at least one time where I've been close to desperate enough to try this.

16. There's been at least one time where I've been close to desperate enough to try this.
Reddit |  PacoDiez

But not yet. Clearly, I have more McDonald's napkins in my bathroom than this person does.

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17. You know, this one might just be her fault.

17. You know, this one might just be her fault.
Twitter |  @elly5sos

Even amateurs know better than to leave cereal so long it goes soggy. Can you imagine what it would be like lying out in the sun for hours?

18. I'm always surprised by what seagulls will eat, and apparently, so was this person.

18. I'm always surprised by what seagulls will eat, and apparently, so was this person.
Reddit |  Se7enOne

Imagine how far away this bird was when it looked down and went, "Yeah, out comes the phone, here we go." 

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19. Before we jump to any conclusions, I want to make absolutely sure that this isn't ghost-away spray.

19. Before we jump to any conclusions, I want to make absolutely sure that this isn't ghost-away spray.
Reddit |  I_Pee_On_My_Wrist

But depending on how Boos smells, it might turn out to be a keep-everything-away spray.

20. There was already no way that ordering a sandwich from a vending machine was going to work out.

20. There was already no way that ordering a sandwich from a vending machine was going to work out.
Reddit |  ioxnexus

But if you're going to make a bad decision, it'd be nice if the universe let you do it instead of screwing you even more.

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