Sometimes I hear my friends talking about how great it would be to have kids; how their little booties are so adorable you just want to eat them, and how they have the teeny-tiniest socks on the planet. How their squishy little rolls are to die for and how their skin is so smooth you won't be able to let them go. They also to go on about their adorable laugh and toothless smiles and I'm just sitting there like "nope". Yes, fine, they might be adorable at times, but the other 3/4 of the day they're absolute handfuls. And here, ladies and gentleman, are the 20 reasons you should be thankful you don't have children:

1. You don't have a little blubber to waste your delicious peanut butter.

You don't have to share your peanut butter and then see it wasted all over the floor.
via Dump A Day

2. The only curry-looking thing you have to deal with is the one on your plate.

You don't have to deal with ANY OF THIS.
via Jeobox

3. And you don't need to deal with what looks like the aftermath of a bad frat party without the fun night.

Or this. NOPE.
via reddit /u/ Detry

4. You decorate your walls as you see fit...not a mini dictator.

You can decide whether or not you want to decorate the walls.
via Rant About This and Rave About That
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5. You also decide what to paint and when.

And the entire living room.
via Love Sacorange County

6. And your iPad is strictly used for business only and not a chew toy.

And you don't have to worry about your iPad being covered in slobber.
via Science Lakes

7. You can go to Disney World for yourself and actually enjoy it.

You can appreciate the joys of Disney World uninterrupted.
via  Disneyland Live Journal

8. You can hang out with the people who actually enjoy stuffing their faces as much as you do.

You don't have to be around people who don't appreciate food as much as you do.
via Reasons My Son Is Crying

9. You have access to your toilet at all times.

Your toilet won't be clogged.
via Reasons My Son Is Crying / Michelle

10. Your sinks are strictly used for hand washing and teeth brushing...not baby chilling.

And your sink won't be clogged either.
via Reasons My Son Is Crying

11. The only pee you need to worry about is from your drunken friends at the urinal.

You won't be peed on. (hopefully)
via Ribbon Runner /Arienne

12. You don't need to worry about wearing mistakenly matching t-shirts with your friends...because hopefully your friends don't pee on themselves.

This won't happen.
via Reasons My Son Is Crying

13. You don't need to fight off a creature on your long-awaited packages...unless you've got cats.

Nothing will come in between you and your Amazon packages.
via Reasons My Son Is Crying / Patricia C.

14. You can go to bed without worrying about having to clean up this mess.

You don't have to clean up this mess.
via Reasons My Son Is Crying / Emilie F. 

15. Your couch will never look like Tony Montana from Scarface or Pablo Escobar threw a wild party.

And this isn't your couch.
via Xaxor

16. You don't need to witness the grossness that comes with children.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children 30
via Cheezburger

17. You can watch all the bad shows you want with no distractions.

No one will interrupt your TV time.
 via Reasons My Son Is Crying/ Amy Z. 

18. Your expensive makeup will never go to waste on someone else's face.

Your makeup isn't currently destroyed and all over someone else's face.
via Charislatshaw

19. You only need to worry about what goes into your mouth.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children 126
via PBH2

20. You can bake in peace.

But if you want to deal with any of this, you can always visit your friends who do have kids and leave when the poop happens.
via Nerdy With Children

Collage Source: 1) reddit /u/ Detry 2) Reasons My Son Is Crying / Michelle 3) Xaxor