Sometimes I hear my friends talking about how great it would be to have kids; how their little booties are so adorable you just want to eat them, and how they have the teeny-tiniest socks on the planet. How their squishy little rolls are to die for and how their skin is so smooth you won't be able to let them go. They also to go on about their adorable laugh and toothless smiles and I'm just sitting there like "nope". Yes, fine, they might be adorable at times, but the other 3/4 of the day they're absolute handfuls. And here, ladies and gentleman, are the 20 reasons you should be thankful you don't have children:

1. You don't have a little blubber to waste your delicious peanut butter.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Dump A Day

2. The only curry-looking thing you have to deal with is the one on your plate.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Jeobox

3. And you don't need to deal with what looks like the aftermath of a bad frat party without the fun night.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via reddit /u/ Detry

4. You decorate your walls as you see fit...not a mini dictator.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Rant About This and Rave About That
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5. You also decide what to paint and when.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Love Sacorange County

6. And your iPad is strictly used for business only and not a chew toy.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Science Lakes

7. You can go to Disney World for yourself and actually enjoy it.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via  Disneyland Live Journal

8. You can hang out with the people who actually enjoy stuffing their faces as much as you do.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Reasons My Son Is Crying

9. You have access to your toilet at all times.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Reasons My Son Is Crying / Michelle

10. Your sinks are strictly used for hand washing and teeth brushing...not baby chilling.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Reasons My Son Is Crying

11. The only pee you need to worry about is from your drunken friends at the urinal.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Ribbon Runner /Arienne

12. You don't need to worry about wearing mistakenly matching t-shirts with your friends...because hopefully your friends don't pee on themselves.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Reasons My Son Is Crying

13. You don't need to fight off a creature on your long-awaited packages...unless you've got cats.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Reasons My Son Is Crying / Patricia C.

14. You can go to bed without worrying about having to clean up this mess.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Reasons My Son Is Crying / Emilie F. 

15. Your couch will never look like Tony Montana from Scarface or Pablo Escobar threw a wild party.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Xaxor

16. You don't need to witness the grossness that comes with children.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Cheezburger

17. You can watch all the bad shows you want with no distractions.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
 via Reasons My Son Is Crying/ Amy Z. 

18. Your expensive makeup will never go to waste on someone else's face.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Charislatshaw

19. You only need to worry about what goes into your mouth.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via PBH2

20. You can bake in peace.

20 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don't Have Children
via Nerdy With Children

Collage Source: 1) reddit /u/ Detry 2) Reasons My Son Is Crying / Michelle 3) Xaxor