16 Stories You Just Don't Need In Your Life Right Now

Diply 22 Mar 2018

There's a lot of turmoil and upheaval happening right now. It's enough to make you want to ask the world to just hit pause for a hot second.

But the sun continues to rise every day. And so too does the internet continue to churn out the weirdest pictures, whether we asked it to or not.

So come, take a gander at the latest batch of bizarreness. There's no use fighting it.

1. Is no place sacred?

Reddit | planzero94

All we want to do is use a public restroom without thinking about how many other butts have been on that seat. And this spoon covered in misc. goo is throwing our anxiety into overdrive.

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2. Yes, that is a coffin grill.

Twitter | @ElJeringasLoko

So many questions, no good answers. Is this some sort of anti-meat statement that equates grilling beef with death? Can we not just eat our hamburgers without contemplating questions of life and death?!

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3. When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Reddit | Cheeseand0nions

Except when you have this hammer, everything looks twisted and wrong and makes you wonder if there's any meaning to life at all. Stupid hammer.

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4. Up on the skylight! It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's...bread?

Reddit | joannacat

It's really hard to gaze at the stars and ponder the infinite possibilities when there's an eighth of a loaf of honey whole wheat staring back at you.

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5. Sweet 16 no more.

Imgur | itsnotfakenews

This is literally a nightmare come true for anyone who's ever carried a cake over to the table so the birthday person could blow out the candles. I'm having a panic attack just thinking about it.

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6. Too much monkey business.

Imgur | badassmuthawhodonttakenocrapoffanobody

I have questions. Did the monkey puke because he was hung over? Why is the monkey wearing a shirt? Is that fellow with his a** crack showing consoling the monkey? Is that helping?

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7. First time she digs in her pocket, she's in for a world of hurt.

Reddit | Dws202820

Ears, tongue, nose, lip, eyebrows. Those mostly seem like reasonable areas to get pierced. But ring finger piercings? No, now you've gone too far.

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8. Shuffle off this mortal coil in a tank.

Reddit | jimmyjamjames

"Great Grandpa Joe would have wanted to have his remains carried to the cemetery in a tank. It's like he's fighting in WWII one last time."

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9. "I'm not getting rid of the truck, Linda!"

Reddit | jetxobri

"I don't care if it's too big for the garage! I had that Ford F150 specially made! I'll find a way to close the garage door! I'm done arguing over this!"

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10. Nothing says "call me" like a garden gnome.

Reddit | Guitarzach96

A boy came out to his car one morning to find this, along with a girl's number tucked under his wiper blade. Run away, boy. Run away, and don't look back.

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11. A hailstone from the fires of Mordor.

Reddit | gmnitsua

This jagged hailstone fell from the sky in Alabama recently. Personally, I'm less impressed by the size and shape of the stone than I am that it was discovered by a hobbit.

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12. New year, new look.

Imgur | itsnotfakenews

Also, maybe get some new friends. Because they're the ones who snapped a picture of your hair on fire before telling you that your head was gonna go up like a Roman candle.

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13. What does this person's thought process look like?

Imgur | Wurstencounter

"Just gonna pick up this ginormous centipede here and drape it on my exposed upper leg for scale and then take a picture of it to show the world."

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14. Melts in your mouth, not in your candy dispenser.

Reddit | andrewhime

Here we see photographic evidence of the first M&M dispenser, discovered in King Tut's tomb. Yes, that's right, these chocolate candies are as old as the pyramids themselves.

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15. See, this is why I don't go to parties.

Reddit | Cartman010

Sure, the odds of a super creeper in a shirt dress carrying some kind of model fruit ship are low, but really, I just don't want to chance it.

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16. Social commentary on beauty pageants? 

<br> | Reddit

I can guarantee the ratings for the Miss America pageant would shoot through the roof if they replaced the evening gown segment with snake handling.

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